tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32865436412325557682024-03-13T07:05:41.988-07:00Laughter & Humor: Therapeutic Allies"While the unexamined life is not worth living, life without laughter is not worth examining." This is a place to lift our spirits, have fun, and illuminate the human condition. We share ideas, observations and opinions about humor, laughter, health & happiness with psychologist Steve Wilson, Director of National Humor Month, founder of the World Laughter Tour.Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-50719122315832398032015-02-24T11:33:00.001-08:002015-02-24T11:33:44.172-08:00The Science of Hollywood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Following the Academy Awards this week (2/22/2015), came an <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2965986/The-science-Hollywood-Study-reveals-two-rules-trick-laughing-crying-scared-films.html" target="_blank">article</a> in the <i>UK Daily Mail</i>. Do you read reports like this with a critical eye? </div>
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As I was
reading this one, I found myself wondering, "In what way is this
'science'? Where can I find the citations to the original studies? How credible
is information that has been simplified (dumbed down?) for popular consumption,
i.e., referring to the activation of neuro-physiological responses as
'tricks'?" <o:p></o:p></div>
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In this particular case, I'm asking, "Who makes the
rules? Are the <i>rules</i> that are attributed to neuroscientist, Jeffrey Zacks,
similar to scientific<i> laws</i>, e.g., gravity, thermodynamics; or, are they merely
<i>theories</i>, or perhaps just <i>speculation</i> worded in popular idiom? At one end
of the scientific credibility spectrum, laws of science are so well replicated and so
highly probable of predictable outcomes that they are indisputable. Theories
fall toward the center of the spectrum as suspicions of predictable outcomes
that are not necessarily highly verified. Speculations are way at the other end
of the spectrum, with little or no particularly reliable predictability.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am also asking, "How does Zacks' mirror rule square
with the theory of mirror neurons, which holds that the contagion of emotions
has a particular neurological basis making it more complex than simply
imitative behavior? According to the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirror_neuron" target="_blank">Wikipedia entry</a> on mirror neurons,
"Neuroscientists such as Marco Iacoboni (UCLA) have argued that mirror
neuron systems in the human brain help us understand the actions and intentions
of other people. In a study published in March 2005 Iacoboni and his colleagues
reported that mirror neurons could discern if another person who was picking up
a cup of tea planned to drink from it or clear it from the table. In addition,
Iacoboni has argued that mirror neurons are the neural basis of the human
capacity for emotions such as empathy."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unlike the piece in the Daily Mail, that Wikipedia entry
includes some cautionary notes: "It has also been proposed that problems
with the mirror neuron system may underlie cognitive disorders, particularly
autism. However the connection between mirror neuron dysfunction and autism is
tentative and it remains to be seen how mirror neurons may be related to many
of the important characteristics of autism. Despite the excitement generated by
these findings, to date, no widely accepted neural or computational models have
been put forward to describe how mirror neuron activity supports cognitive
functions such as imitation. There are neuroscientists who caution that the
claims being made for the role of mirror neurons are not supported by adequate research."
In your opinion, how important is it to include such cautions?<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we say that laughter is contagious, or when I salivate
while I imagine biting into a lemon, did I not have a real and complex physiological
experience? Is the fight-or-flight response of the central nervous system
merely a habit?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Can the exercise of careful questioning go too far? </b></div>
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It
reminds me of a bit that I heard a comedian do years ago (Mort Sahl? Tom
Lehrer? Lenny Bruce?) describing how philosophers tediously question the nature of reality. "The philosopher picks up a glass of water and states: This
is a glass of water. Then, he ponders an elaborate set of semantic questions: But is it really a glass of water? And, if it is really a glass of water,
why is it a glass of water? And, having spent so much time on these
questions, the philosopher dies of thirst (rim shot, please!)." </div>
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Sometimes, when we are thirsty, we should just drink some water. There is also a
time to just shut up and enjoy the movie!</div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-32788579945826823202015-01-19T14:10:00.001-08:002015-08-25T08:52:37.556-07:00SERVICE is a Laughter Therapy Value<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IjIVJnm6tEI/VL2AfFhIjPI/AAAAAAAAAu4/IAjsPMdsngw/s1600/martin-l-king.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-IjIVJnm6tEI/VL2AfFhIjPI/AAAAAAAAAu4/IAjsPMdsngw/s1600/martin-l-king.jpg" width="161" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Did you know that the curriculum for "How to Create
Therapeutic Laughter" is comprised of three major building blocks:
Knowledge & Theory, Skills, and Values? Starting in 1973 (yes, indeed), I
used this model to launch and maintain a highly successful college-level
training program for mental health professionals, that is still in effect
today. In fact, the collegiate program has incorporated "Therapeutic
Laughter", which has become one of the most popular electives.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Among the World Laughter Tour's values education for
laughter therapy is the concept of 'serving with love'. That is, keeping service in our hearts and minds while teaching & leading laughter programs. We
underscore this concept in every workshop by studying these words of Dr. Martin
Luther King, Jr.:</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">"Everyone can be great because everybody can serve. You
don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your noun
and verb agree to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity
to serve. You only need a heart full of grace and a soul generated by love...
When evil men plot, good men plan. When evil men bomb and burn, good men must
build and bind. When evil men shout words of hatred, good men must commit
themselves to the glory of love."</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The excellent reputation of WLT programs and associates has
made a groundbreaking difference in the acceptance of these strategies. Because
of careful curriculum design and faculty training, WLT has led the way in overcoming
the skepticism and resistance we encountered initially. At first therapeutic
laughter was considered ‘new’ to the field of healthcare therapies, but we have
progressed from being considered as ‘alternative’ to being called ‘complimentary’,
and finally to being an accepted part of ‘integrative medicine’. The ideas and
methods are now acknowledged as playing a significant positive role in personal
happiness as well as health & humans services, education, business, and
community development. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Our concerted efforts over many years have certainly helped
to make many lives richer and more rewarding, and has made the world a better
place. We look forward to continuing this contribution for generations to come.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Join us! </span></div>
</div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-18872425184575025762014-12-19T11:59:00.000-08:002014-12-19T11:59:11.249-08:00The Right to Satire, Parody, and Bad Jokes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NTRuchfpTA0/VJR_5Q3jhTI/AAAAAAAAAsY/ihG60m_F8eo/s1600/censorship-redacted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NTRuchfpTA0/VJR_5Q3jhTI/AAAAAAAAAsY/ihG60m_F8eo/s1600/censorship-redacted.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>"The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen." ~Tommy Smothers </i></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><i>"Censorship is saying: 'I'm the one who says the last sentence. Whatever you say, the conclusion is mine.' But the internet is like a tree that is growing. The people will always have the last word - even if someone has a very weak, quiet voice. Such power will collapse because of a whisper." ~Ai Weiwei </i></span></span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Through the ages, humor and laughter have dogged dictators and politicians. Some have gone so far as to outlaw them. It is happening again, albeit in a very modern way and with a twist: the focus is on the comedy movie, "The Interview".</span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Is the current flap based in politics? Religion? Personal tastes? National security? I have a feeling that this attempt at squelching comedy is a dangerous censorship based in fear. </span></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It's nothing new but, as with any attempt to abridge our rights, it is critically important that we understand what's going. It's not only the United States that holds dear the right to freedom of speech, it is every other freedom-loving country. The better we understand what's going on, the more strongly we can hold tight to our precious right of free speech. </span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Put simply, we respect individual differences when we say, "It's different jokes for different folks." </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;"> "The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship." ~George Bernard Shaw</span></span></i></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LkR1Dv_xJTU/VJRYYlPsAFI/AAAAAAAAAr4/m0yc_YOCUw8/s1600/fry.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LkR1Dv_xJTU/VJRYYlPsAFI/AAAAAAAAAr4/m0yc_YOCUw8/s1600/fry.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">William F. Fry, Jr., M.D. (1924-2014)</span></span></span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A true pioneer in the study of humor and laughter, </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;">my friend and teacher, William F. Fry, Jr., explained and illuminated </span></span>ideas about misconceptions of humor, <i>liberation therapie</i>, humor and the social potpourri, the biology of humor, political correctness, and much more. He was prescient; a deep thinker, humanitarian & scientist, and a fine writer.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">History Repeats Itself </span></span></b> </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Always ahead of his time, early on Bill was talking about <i>“Fear of
Laughter”</i> as if he knew that we would have to confront and understand the issue again and again. His observations help to illuminate</span> for us the current events around Sony's decision not to release "The Interview", a comedy movie. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Here are excepts </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">from Bill's keynote presentation at the 6th International
Conference on Humor and Laughter in Tempe, Arizona, April, 1987.</span></span><br />
<br />
"Despite the awareness of humor as a valuable and generally beneficial element in human existence, some strange anomalies have arisen during the centuries, regarding human attitudes about humor. There have been -- and are -- people with very negative views on humor. Various people consider humor to be frivolous, inconsequential and unimportant, vulgar or repulsive, disgusting, hostile, threatening and aggressive, fearsome. </div>
<br />
"These negative views may appear as individual evaluations, or they may be majority attitudes of entire populations. On certain occasions in the history of Western Civilization, humor has actually been banned, forbidden, repressed by prosecution carried forth by ruling persons or groups. Although such extremes are not the common rule, they are also by no means totally <br />
idiosyncratic and rare."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Potter Stewart, Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court, said, "Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself." Fry highlights the historical record, citing Aristotle (345 B.C.), St. Paul the Apostle (60 A.D.), Psychologist Vasey (1877 A.D.), France, during the late 1300's reign of Charles VI, National prohibition of comedy proclaimed in England during the rule of Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector (1650's), and Nazi Germany (1930's). </span><br />
<br />
"This type of fearful repression was also found in Nazi Germany (1930's), with the establishment of a special court commissioned to try cases of people creating humor about Der Fuehrer, his gang and their lunatic philosophies. Humorists and comedians were sentenced by the court and some were actually executed for this crime. <br />
<br />
"It appears that a major source of the fear of laughter is the power of humor in human life. If humor and laughter were, in fact, as trivial and inconsequential as has been expressed at various times, there would be no cause for display of negativity and rejection. However, as we can recognize, humor and laughter are powerful elements of human life. They are elements which must be dealt with, not ignored or rejected.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: small;">"The issues of power over humor are primarily concerned with the question of "who's in control?". There should really be no question on this score. We are the experts and it's our humor, our laughter. We receive the benefits of our humor and laughter. To fear these powerful parts of our lives, to scorn, trivialize, reject them runs counter to the facts about them and counter to our own best interests."</span></b><i><b> </b>(Bold added.)</i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i>
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In
the long run, humor wins, but we must be vigilant and active in
protecting our right, perhaps our obligation, to make satire and parody,
and even to make bad jokes.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><i>"An attack upon our ability to tell stories is not just censorship -it is a crime against our nature as human beings." ~Salman Rushdie</i></span><br />
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-4401023876235192802013-12-08T14:20:00.000-08:002013-12-09T12:47:02.599-08:00Maxims of The Peaceful Teacher<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The mission of <a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/" target="_blank">World Laughter Tour</a> has always been,
"<i>Together we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace through
laughter.</i>” Every edition of the “<i>Study Guide and Reference Manual</i>”*, which has grown from
30 pages to 145, includes this advice to our students:<br />
<br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>“Find your source, live from
it, keep your heart open, and laugh generously.<br />
These are maxims of the peaceful teacher, the tools of a gentle healer.”</i></b></div>
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;">
<i>~Alan Cohen </i></div>
<br />
Not only are humor and laughter therapeutic allies of our physical and mental
health, they are characteristics that reflect the spiritual health of humankind
and this planet; what we call <i>peace</i>.<br />
<br />
Thanks to the help, support, and encouragement of many friends, scientists,
clowns, clinicians, and other laughter lovers, we have done a good job of
understanding and promoting the health and happiness ideals of our mission,
evolving to be referred to as tools for health and well-being. <br />
<br />
Now, let’s focus more sharply on the <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">peace</span>
ideals of the mission.<br />
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To open a conversation on the topic, I commend to you “<i>Cultivating Peace: Becoming a 21st-Century Peace Ambassador,"</i>
by James O’Dea (Shift Books, May 10, 2012<i>)</i>. Deepak Chopra calls this holistic approach to peace work “a brilliant
manifesto that weaves science, spirituality, and social healing into a peace
roadmap for us all.”<br />
<br />
Jill Knox, RN, turned me on to the book. She is a peace activist, an
advocate for healthy humor, and the current president of the <a href="http://www.aath.org/" target="_blank">Association
for Applied and Therapeutic Humor</a>. Her vision and passion for these things
will be a lasting legacy to our field. I will do what I can to help.<br />
<br />
You would probably never expect O’Dea, who spent ten years as the Director of the Washington Office of Amnesty International, to lead off in Chapter One making a cogent and compelling case about the
importance of laughter in laying the foundation for us to work for peace. “<i>Cultivating
Peace</i>,” he says, “begins with not taking ourselves so seriously.” He
reminds us that, “a world without laughter would not be a safe or peaceful
world.”<br />
<br />
Anger and violence, he says, constantly cook up a “biochemical brew…that is
toxic at every level--physically, emotionally, psychologically, and
spiritually. They shut down the body’s exquisite ease, delight, and pleasure
signals and replace them with hypervigilance and stress alerts.”<br />
<br />
From that premise, he examines, explains, coaxes, cajoles, and carefully
convinces us that the art and heart of peace advocacy and activism is within us
our grasp. It will take some work to make it manifest but he shows the way. He
calmly convinces us that we can find greater peace within ourselves, tantalizing
us with the prospect of profound personal satisfactions as well as the
realization of the better world we seek and often speak of. He repeatedly and realistically
cautions us that the road to peace will not be smooth nor easy nor quick, but the
promised <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>destination is possible
eventually and definitely worth the trip.<br />
<br />
<b>A few quotes from <i>Cultivating Peace</i>, Chapter One:</b><br />
<br />
The peace journey begins with understanding positive emotions, seeing how
“truth, reconciliation, and forgiveness are essential components of collective
healing strategies…”<br />
<br />
“In time, I came to learn that too much seriousness is deadly.”<br />
<br />
“Any kind of overbearing behavior--be it self-righteousness, bigotry,
aggression, condemnation, arrogance, or finger-pointing--is an interruption of
the body’s circuitry of love joy and play.” <br />
<br />
“When we cultivate love and joyful service, we live longer, healthier,
happier lives.”<br />
<br />
“…jokes can have a way of revealing sadness, emptiness, hostility, and even
viciousness. But true humor does not carry a poison pill.”<br />
<br />
“Laughing is about the bubbling up of connection.”<br />
<br />
Get hold of a copy of <i>Cultivating Peace</i> and start reading. Then,
please join me in reflecting and connecting how humor and laughter are not only
therapeutic allies in the sense of your physical health, but also in the
healing of humankind and this planet.<br />
<br />
If you have a favorite quote about peace, please share it with me here or on
Facebook.<br />
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<b>Click These Links to Listen to John Lennon and Leadbelly</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRhq-yO1KN8" target="_blank">Imagine</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B288XluNfv4" target="_blank">Give Peace a Chance</a><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EIzKAGwJ-0" target="_blank">Ain't Gonna Study War No More </a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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* <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=28&pr_id=194&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">CLICK HERE</a> to purchase the <i>Study Guide and Reference Manual</i>.</div>
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PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH EVERYONE WHO MIGHT
LIKE TO HAVE IT.</div>
</div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-61845267069780204032013-11-24T11:08:00.000-08:002013-11-24T11:08:56.802-08:00Geloforecasting: Predicting the Future of “Laughter and Humor” as Therapeutic Allies<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fn-0jX1n79I/UpI-btKjphI/AAAAAAAAAog/oTFX95rNrr4/s1600/crystal-ball-cartoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fn-0jX1n79I/UpI-btKjphI/AAAAAAAAAog/oTFX95rNrr4/s200/crystal-ball-cartoon.jpg" width="159" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Do you have a crystal ball? How’s your intuition these
days? Your foresight? How are you at forecasting and predicting? How about
imagining, hoping and dreaming?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">The basic training of Certified Laughter Leaders
emphasizes the importance of being ‘possibility thinkers’. But, whether or not you are ‘certified’,
a<span style="color: #333333;">s we come to the close of another calendar year, many of us who love laughter and humor will reflect on the past year and resolve for the one
coming up.</span> I thought it might be fun to invite all readers of this blog to ponder some pipe dreams
and possibilities around our theme.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">‘Pipe dreams’ is a noun phrase that typically means <span style="color: #333333;">a</span> <span style="color: #333333;">fanciful</span> <span style="color: #333333;">or</span> <span style="color: #333333;">impossible</span> <span style="color: #333333;">plan</span> <span style="color: #333333;">or</span> <span style="color: #333333;">hope. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">However, I’m thinking of Normans Cousins’
idea that, “Progress is possible only when people believe in possibilities of
growth and change.” When enumerating the many ways and reasons that he
believed human life is precious, he included, “because we can continue to
create in ways we have never created before. We can do the impossible.”</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xA8ST5drMVU/UpI-t4ElejI/AAAAAAAAApY/G-zvPLWYEVs/s1600/norman-cousins-BW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xA8ST5drMVU/UpI-t4ElejI/AAAAAAAAApY/G-zvPLWYEVs/s200/norman-cousins-BW.jpg" width="183" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Norman Cousins</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Think about the theme of this blog: <em>Laughter and Humor Are Therapeutic
Allies</em>. What will that look like in five years? Or, ten years? Or???</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">I am inviting you to join me in dreaming about the future of what we might loosely refer to as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">touching lives with laughter;</i> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your personal practice, and our practice
together. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Od3U3jwHAak/UpI-hGuGqtI/AAAAAAAAAow/DS_Nr_r5mPs/s1600/crystal-ball-fem-exotic-2-smiley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="135" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Od3U3jwHAak/UpI-hGuGqtI/AAAAAAAAAow/DS_Nr_r5mPs/s200/crystal-ball-fem-exotic-2-smiley.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What might 'laughter' look like in 2014, 2019, 2024, or beyond?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">We call our mutual interest “laughter and
humor”, but we know that, collectively and individually, we are about more than
that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">If you joined up with World Laughter Tour
or any of the myriad related interest groups, you bought a ticket to jump
aboard a moving train because you thought you knew and liked where it was
going. Is your vision the same as it was when you started or has it changed? If so,
how has it changed? Have you changed? How?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">Let’s see if we can start a wide-ranging brainstorm
of where “laughter and humor” might be going. Call it a dream, or a
plan, or a vision, a conversation, or a hope. Whatever word or phrase works for
you to conjure an idea or as many ideas as you like. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">These<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">
Rules of Brainstorming </b>will apply:</span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pWoJGm45wls/UpI-otzw2uI/AAAAAAAAApI/Ea3vtkuM5kc/s1600/HANDS-RAISED.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="125" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pWoJGm45wls/UpI-otzw2uI/AAAAAAAAApI/Ea3vtkuM5kc/s200/HANDS-RAISED.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anyone who reads this blog may contribute any ideas you have as they come to mind.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">All of the ideas will be archived.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">In order to allow us to generate as many ideas
as possible, there must be no fear of criticism. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These ideas will NOT be discussed, rated, debated,
evaluated, or judged until such time, if ever, that we decide to prioritize or otherwise
rate them, for example, for implementation. Evaluative comments will not be forwarded.
We are merely inputting ideas for each other to consider. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">“Positive Piggy-backing”, or adding onto
the ideas of others is OK (in fact, it is encouraged), but not put-downs.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Repetition is OK. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Dreaming is OK. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Conjecture is OK. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Hoping is OK. Wishing is OK. Hunches are OK.</span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHZJcm0NJcw/UpI-rhXKqYI/AAAAAAAAApQ/cnMCvMRB6rY/s1600/johnny-carson-carnac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHZJcm0NJcw/UpI-rhXKqYI/AAAAAAAAApQ/cnMCvMRB6rY/s200/johnny-carson-carnac.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZHZJcm0NJcw/UpI-rhXKqYI/AAAAAAAAApQ/cnMCvMRB6rY/s1600/johnny-carson-carnac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><div style="text-align: left;" unselectable="on">
</div>
</a><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">"Wild" or "outrageous"
or "off-the-wall" and even “what if” ideas are acceptable (they just
may spark other ideas that lead to more hopes and dreams). </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black;">Periods of silence are OK. </span></span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="color: black;">This look to the future may go on for a long time, with anyone jumping in whenever they have an idea.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">Flights of fancy are acceptable.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><strong><em>Looking back and looking ahead what possibilities do you
see?</em></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;">PLEASE SHARE THIS BLOG WITH ANYONE WHO MIGHT LIKE IT.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-40305129038560766432013-11-13T05:36:00.000-08:002013-11-13T05:36:26.490-08:00Humor, Laughter, Personal Power, and Peace<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AqVRCpV8ZLs/UoN_Suo8TfI/AAAAAAAAAoM/y_gU9_yfTlk/s1600/peace-sign-glo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AqVRCpV8ZLs/UoN_Suo8TfI/AAAAAAAAAoM/y_gU9_yfTlk/s200/peace-sign-glo.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">The mission of </span><a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial;">World Laughter Tour, Inc.,</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial;"> is a statement of vision, hope, and purpose: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>"Together, we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace, through laughter."</em></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial;">We have the power to bring love, laughter and humor into our lives. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial;">We have the power to be kind. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial;">We have the power to be sane. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial;">We have the power to be the change we want to see.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This blog post is an attempt to continue understanding the human condition with a conversation to explore the connections between humor, laughter, power, and peace. There is much more to be said on the topic than can be written here; that's why the last word is <em>etcetera</em>. There are more conversations to be had, and much that we need to understand. I hope this will be the start of a contribution to this understanding. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am grateful to one of my most brilliant teachers, Dr. William F. Fry, Jr., who has written eloquently about the history of humor being so feared by some of the most the powerful leaders of nations that they went to great lengths to severely suppress it. (I saw that a few years ago in Venezuela under Chavez.)</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SjJ8p_n8wW4/UnlsYVxyeJI/AAAAAAAAAnc/g2I0KcYUGEI/s1600/norman-cousins.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SjJ8p_n8wW4/UnlsYVxyeJI/AAAAAAAAAnc/g2I0KcYUGEI/s200/norman-cousins.jpg" width="188" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> <em>"No person can be truly at peace with himself if he does not live up to his moral capacity."</em>Norman Cousins (1915-1990)</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial;">Many of us who love and appreciate humor feel a special admiration and gratitude for Norman Cousins. World Laughter Tour is deeply rooted to Cousins, a man for whom Wikipedia provides a one-sentence summary, telling us that he was "an American political journalist, author, professor, and <em>world peace advocate</em>." Few people realize how prolific he was as a writer, and how passionate he was about peace and ending war. Speaking in a 1987 <a href="https://archive.org/details/openmind_ep277" target="_blank">interview</a> about his book, "The Pathology of Power," you can hear him expound on a part of his vision for achieving peace. Listen as he reads his First Principles for Peace.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>BEGINNING TO MAKE THE CONNECTIONS</strong></span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QjT-Ef8RhUE/UmVqpg79PHI/AAAAAAAAAmw/KCni1MpXX60/s1600/tw-friends-laughing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QjT-Ef8RhUE/UmVqpg79PHI/AAAAAAAAAmw/KCni1MpXX60/s320/tw-friends-laughing.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;">Humor and laughter have the power to help or to hurt; to lift people up or tear people down; to bring people together by showing us what we have in common, or to divide us by emphasizing our differences. Properly applied, humor has healing power. According to <a href="http://www.allenklein.com/" target="_blank">Allen Klein</a>, a pioneer in the therapeutic humor movement, <em>"Humor can help you cope with the unbearable so that you can stay on the bright side of things until the bright side actually comes along."</em> </span><br />
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"><strong>TOXIC HUMOR</strong></span><br />
<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"><span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;">Toxic situations arise when humor is misused. Zingers, insults, and put-downs can be wielded by a “hostile humor tyrant” who hurts someone’s feelings and then denies responsibility by claiming, paradoxically, that it was only a joke.</span></span><br />
<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fffffe; color: #121210; font-family: Arial;">Abuse results from one person taking undue advantage, for selfish benefit, of their power over another person**.</span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MOgtNhDxkpU/UmVqfbPtdnI/AAAAAAAAAmI/QEuSRwhm5Wo/s1600/hurtful-words.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="141" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-MOgtNhDxkpU/UmVqfbPtdnI/AAAAAAAAAmI/QEuSRwhm5Wo/s200/hurtful-words.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"I was only kidding."</td></tr>
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"><strong>PARADOXES<o:p></o:p></strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #121210;"><span style="background-color: #fffffe;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Unresolved paradoxes lead to quandaries, befuddlement, confusion, uncertainty, and maybe a headache. These states of mind are not particularly conducive to mirth, humor or laughter.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XocICFtR8Cc/UmVqn8D1lQI/AAAAAAAAAmo/NEGwBSSwDTI/s1600/paroadox-red-blue-buttons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="105" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XocICFtR8Cc/UmVqn8D1lQI/AAAAAAAAAmo/NEGwBSSwDTI/s200/paroadox-red-blue-buttons.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Philosophical paradox.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Qlt5ZP7rvXw/UmVqmMlDYwI/AAAAAAAAAmg/4Y40WCZHK1I/s1600/paradox-of-traffic-signs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Qlt5ZP7rvXw/UmVqmMlDYwI/AAAAAAAAAmg/4Y40WCZHK1I/s1600/paradox-of-traffic-signs.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Practical paradox.</td></tr>
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;">To the extent that you
can understand, resolve, and accept paradoxes, you will be better able to
recognize and deal with toxic humor, and then make better choices about the humor
you choose to use with others. Joel Goodman, founder of <a href="http://www.humorproject.com/" target="_blank">The Humor Project</a>,
says, <em>“Laughter should be humor made from pain, not pain inflicted by humor.”</em>
An African proverb on the topic of hurtful words reminds us, <em>“The axe forgets, but
the tree remembers.”<o:p></o:p></em></span><br />
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;">An old, pun-riddle
defines a <u>paradox</u> as two physicians. (A pair-of-docs. Get it?) The dictionary
definition of paradox is: a statement or proposition that seems
self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"></span><br />
<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;">A wry definition of
maturity is the power to do whatever you want even if your parents are in favor
of it. The dictionary definition of <u>power</u> is: (1) ability to do or act;
capability of doing or accomplishing something. (2) great or marked ability to
do or act; strength; might; force. (3) the possession of control or command
over others; authority; ascendancy: i.e., power over men's minds.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121210; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;">To help us understand
more about this topic, so that we do a better job of harnessing the positive
power of humor and laughter, here is a list of some truths about the paradoxes of power in</span><span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121311; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"> Sheldon Kopp's*, "Rock, Paper, Scissors" (CompCare Publishers, Minneapolis, 1989).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>The Paradoxes of Personal Power</strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Rock breaks scissors, scissors cut paper, paper covers rock. Power depends on the situation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Everyone has dreams of triumph and fantasias of humiliation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. No matter how powerful we are, or think we are, some people are stronger. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. However powerless we may feel, others are weaker. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Sometimes life is so out of control that there is nothing we can do to make things right. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Self-esteem based on feeling powerful is weak. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Be confident that you will continue to make mistakes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. Whether we have too much or too little, power is always a problem. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. The excessive use of power may ruin what you set out to improve. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. The freedom to do as you please is one kind of power. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11. Coping with helplessness is another. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">12. We must give up trying to control others. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13. Inner power comes from loving others, not from being loved. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14. We must temper appreciation for power when we have it with respect for others when they don't. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">15. We must learn to take responsibility for both our power and our helplessness. It sounds simple; but it isn't easy! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">16. It takes one kind of courage to wait patiently and another to get on with it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">17. In our right pocket we need to keep one reminder: "For my sake, God created the universe,” and another in our left pocket: "I am dust and ashes." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">18. There is no way for any of us to be totally on top of every aspect of our lives. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">19. We will only succeed some of the time. The only thing we can do is keep trying. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">20. No one is ever totally safe from harm. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">21. Willingness to risk can bring rewards we can't get otherwise. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">22. If we choose to run scared, our capacity for love is limited.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">23. Timid lives are very dull. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">24. If we learn to tell false alarms from real ones, we can decide which risks are worth taking. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">25. When we deal with fear, the way out is in. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">26. Without trust, we can't accept the intimacy of gently holding an other's trembling heart in our hands, or placing ours in theirs. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">27. We're all helpless when it comes to predicting what will happen next. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">28. None of us feels safe being completely open. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">29. If no one knows you, who can love you? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">30. Denial increases the dangers of what we fear. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">31. Too often we form negative attachments rather than face the fear of being alone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">32. Inner power has less to do with pleasing others than it does with doing as we please. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">33. Defying or complying with authority has nothing to do with living freely. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">34. We don't have the power to make someone love us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">35. Laughter is the sound of freedom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">36. Sometimes there's nothing we can do but wait. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">37. We will all be fools at times. When we accept that, our imagination opens to possibilities we were once too wise to consider. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">38. If it's not one thing, it's another. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">39. Life is not a matter to be managed. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">40. A person can't do what can't be done. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">41. Like Life, Death makes fools of us all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">42. None of us can afford to miss the opportunities for the freedom to take charge of ourselves and to laugh and enjoy what we can. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">43. However well we may prepare, the moment belongs to God.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">If you like this thought-provoking values-clarifying list, you might also like Kopp's 43-item <a href="http://peterfox.com.au/manifesto_kopp.htm" target="_blank">Eschatological Laundry List</a>, f</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">rom <em>'If you Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him'</em>. It begins with:</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />1. This is it. <br />2. There are no hidden meanings. <br />3. You can't get there from here, and besides there is no place to go. </span><br />
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<span style="background: rgb(255, 255, 254); color: #121311; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; mso-font-width: 108%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif;">*Sheldon Kopp (29 March 1929 – 29 March 1999) was a psychotherapist and author, based in Washington, D.C., who wrote about self-esteem. He was born in New York City, and received his PhD from the New School for Social Research. In addition to his private practice, he served as a Psychotherapy Supervisor for the Pastoral Counselling and Consultation Centres in Washington. He was a prolific writer. Kopp is author of many fine books including "If You Meet The Buddha On The Road, Kill Him!", and "Raise Your Right Hand Against Fear, Extend The Other In Compassion". He is also popular for his quotes. One of them is, "All of the significant battles are waged within the self</span>." </span><br />
</span> </div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">**My book, <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=20&pr_id=15&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">"Super Humor Power"</a> presents 79 of the most-often cited guidelines about what you need to know, think about, and do, to have positive non-toxic-humor in your life.</span><br />
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<strong><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>Etc. (...and there is more.)</em></span></strong></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-7124662639100932512013-11-01T00:30:00.000-07:002013-11-02T09:04:39.262-07:00Inner Peace, Humor, and Laughter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><em>"It doesn't matter what amazing things you accomplish until you have inner peace and joy; once you have inner peace and joy, it doesn't matter what amazing things you accomplish!"</em></span><br />~Unknown</div>
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Joy-of-life and inner peace includes large doses of humor and mirthful laughter.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gGBHw0jhMlo/UmKRtjd_KTI/AAAAAAAAAls/B6mWzMgo2Dk/s1600/inner-peace-development-deal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="290" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gGBHw0jhMlo/UmKRtjd_KTI/AAAAAAAAAls/B6mWzMgo2Dk/s320/inner-peace-development-deal.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Striving can be stressful.</td></tr>
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<em>Negative</em> emotions are anhedonic. Not only do turmoil, fear, panic, depression, anger, boredom, guilt, worry, self-pity, or distress of any kind, block pleasure, enjoyment, fun, and true mirthful laughter, they can interfere with healing, too.*<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ocxGIJIhLk0/UmKRh7uielI/AAAAAAAAAlg/iCfiQansiKA/s1600/inner-peace-sunrise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ocxGIJIhLk0/UmKRh7uielI/AAAAAAAAAlg/iCfiQansiKA/s200/inner-peace-sunrise.jpg" width="198" /></a></div>
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"<em>The Symptoms of Inner Peace</em>" is an inspiration that came to nurse and spiritual teacher, <a href="http://www.symptomsofinnerpeace.net/Home.html" target="_blank">Saskia Davis</a>. I was astonished and delighted to discover recently that she published it in March of 1984. There must have been quite a vortex of good energy that year because it's the same month and year I felt called to explore, learn, and teach about humor and laughter as therapeutic allies. <br />
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Soon after that calling, I found Davis' list. It became a useful set of guideposts for my spiritual and psychological growth through, as she puts it, <em>"the discipline to live the choices listed there</em>." Many of my psychotherapy patients found this list helpful as a way to estimate where they were on their personal path to well-being. <br />
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If you are on the path of having more humor, laughter and well-being in your life, you might like it, too.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1WIFE_1wFBo/UmKRe-AURcI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/hBhK0Lb0L5o/s1600/inner-peace-dsmooth-stones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1WIFE_1wFBo/UmKRe-AURcI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/hBhK0Lb0L5o/s200/inner-peace-dsmooth-stones.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[According to Saskia Davis' website, what is presented below is the original arrangement of the text.]</span></div>
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THE SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE </div>
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Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many already have been exposed; and it is possible that people, everywhere, could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what, up to now, has been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.</div>
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<strong>Signs & Symptoms of Inner Peace</strong></div>
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A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences</div>
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An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.</div>
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A loss of interest in judging other people.</div>
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A loss of interest in judging self.</div>
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A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.</div>
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A loss of interest in conflict.</div>
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A loss of ability to worry.</div>
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Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.</div>
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Contented feelings of connectedness with others & nature.</div>
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Frequent attacks of smiling. </div>
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An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.</div>
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An increased susceptibility to love extended by others and the uncontrollable urge to extend it.</div>
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WARNING</div>
If you have some or all of the above symptoms, be advised that your condition of inner peace may be too far advanced to be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk. © 1984<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HTOJ_gZ3PdY/UmKRjooGjDI/AAAAAAAAAlo/QKUFiVbpfJs/s1600/inner-peas-panda.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="376" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HTOJ_gZ3PdY/UmKRjooGjDI/AAAAAAAAAlo/QKUFiVbpfJs/s400/inner-peas-panda.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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*A more complete discussion of this concept can be found in my webinar, <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=54&pr_id=245&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">"EMOTIONAL EDUCATION: FEELINGS - Understanding Emotions to Enhance Well-Being"</a> <br />
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<strong><em>Please share this blog with anyone who might want to know more about humor, laughter, and inner peace.</em></strong></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-50376711860628247052013-10-18T12:35:00.004-07:002013-10-19T06:32:30.566-07:00Personal Bill of Rights<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Whether you are somewhere in the arc of recovery (because growing up, somewhere along the line, many of us received too much, too little, or the wrong kind of something, and we need to get that straightened out in order to be happily fully functional), or you feel that your life is pretty stable and happy, or you want to be even happier (<em>flourish</em> is the word Martin Seligman uses), the <em>Personal Bill of Rights</em> might be helpful.<br />
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From time to time, the topics here are not directly about humor or laughter because there is a "meta" purpose, a larger theme: <em>illuminating the human condition. </em>These are my attempts to think-write-discuss ideas that will help us to know who we are and understand how we can get through this existence in the best possible way. These ideas reflect on aspects of be-ing, with the aim of making our be-ing healthier and happier.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bup4DRpySsQ/UmFvCwwIFqI/AAAAAAAAAk0/ewixqBITpjg/s1600/we-the-people-quill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="131" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bup4DRpySsQ/UmFvCwwIFqI/AAAAAAAAAk0/ewixqBITpjg/s200/we-the-people-quill.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who are we, the people?<br />
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For your consideration, here is something from my files that I have always felt was worthwhile. It's been in my files for 25 years, gathering dust. Now, out in the fresh air, in the light of day, it can have new life by sharing. </div>
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Whether you agree or disagree, accept or re-write, or draw your own conclusions, I believe you can find some sense of support, encouragement, strength, and confidence in these personal policies and practices that will contribute to your happiness.</div>
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;"><em>PERSONAL</em></span></strong></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YUMZtslwdTI/UmFvAGaEHAI/AAAAAAAAAkw/2lD25Qxdj08/s1600/bill-of-rights-banner-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YUMZtslwdTI/UmFvAGaEHAI/AAAAAAAAAkw/2lD25Qxdj08/s1600/bill-of-rights-banner-1.jpg" /></a></div>
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Adapted from “<em>Healing The Child Within</em>” (1987) by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D. </div>
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1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival. <br />
2. I have a right to discover and know my Child Within. <br />
3. I have a right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or want. <br />
4. I have a right to follow my own values and standards. <br />
5. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate. <br />
6. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values. <br />
7. I have a right to dignity and respect. <br />
8. I have a right to make decisions . <br />
9. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities. <br />
10. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others. <br />
11. I have the right to terminate conversations with people with whom I feel put down and humiliated. <br />
12. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems. <br />
13. I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect. <br />
14. I have a right to expect honesty from others. <br />
15. I have a right to all of my feelings. <br />
16. I have a right to be angry at someone I love.<br />
17. I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough. <br />
18. I have a right to feel scared and to say "I'm afraid". <br />
19. I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame. <br />
20. I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or any reason that I chose. <br />
21. I have a right to change my mind at any time. <br />
22. I have the right to be happy. <br />
23. I have a right to stability - i.e. "roots" and stable healthy relationships of my choice. <br />
24. I have the right to my own personal space and time needs. <br />
25. There is no need to smile when I cry. <br />
26. It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous. <br />
27. I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so. <br />
28. I have the right to change and grow. <br />
29. I have the right to be open to improve communication skills so that I may be understood. <br />
30. I have a right to make friends and be comfortable around people. <br />
31. I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment. <br />
32. I can be healthier than those around me. <br />
33. I can take care of myself, no matter what. <br />
34. I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses. <br />
35. I have the right to trust others who earn my trust. <br />
36. I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself. <br />
37. I have the right to give and to receive unconditional love. <br />
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“<em>Healing The Child Within</em>” (1987) by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D., is available at many online booksellers. From an online description:<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Have you ever heard of your inner child? Well, this is the classic book that started it all.<br /><br />In 1987, Charlie Whitfield's breakthrough concept of the child within—that part of us which is truly alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled—launched the inner child movement. Healing the Child Within describes how the inner child is lost to trauma and loss, and how by recovering it, we can heal the fear, confusion and unhappiness of adult life.<br /><br />[More than] eighteen years and more than a million copies sold later, Healing the Child Within is a perennial selling classic in the field of psychology. And it is even more timely today than it was in 1987. Recent brain research, particularly on the effects of trauma on the brain of developing children, has supported Whitfield's intuitive understanding as a psychiatrist.</em></span></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-21325841925502361352013-10-08T11:35:00.001-07:002013-10-08T16:16:54.295-07:00The Courage And Confidence To Be Humorous<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your confidence will come into focus.</td></tr>
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Would you like to have the courage to be humorous? Would you like to be less self-conscious about laughing out loud? Do you know how to tell a joke well? Would you like to be more spontaneous with your sense of humor? Would you like to be funnier?<br />
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Would you like to have all this in 3 easy lessons? Forgeddaboutit! You can have all this. It will take effort and time, but it's not all that complicated.<br />
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It seems to me that many, maybe even most, people are inhibited about these things. For some it is because they have been criticized or judged harshly for the sound of the laughter. The criticisms abound: "You laugh too loud... You giggle too much... You cackle... You snort... Nobody likes that kind of laughter." <em>Et cetera ad nauseum!</em><br />
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Others lack good role models for joke-or-story-telling. Many compare themselves to the great masters of comedy (Carlin, Williams, Carson, Leno, Winters, Ball, Diller, Seinfeld, etc.) and come up short, feeling like failures by comparison. <br />
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The first rule of self-esteem: Quit Comparing Yourself to Others. Set reasonable standards for yourself and compare your progress to your own goals.<br />
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Remember that courage is not the absence of fear. It is the ability to act in spite of fear or apprehension. <br />
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Remember that confidence comes from competence.<br />
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To start you on the road to being more funny more spontaneously, here are some great general pointers for developing self-confidence, and specific tips related to being more "in humor".<br />
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DEVELOPING SELF-CONFIDENCE IN LIFE AND IN HUMOR</div>
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The way you perceive yourself influences both your confidence and your performance. When you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF as a valuable person who is on top of your job, motivation increases and the possibility of peak productivity grows. When you believe in your sense of humor and your ability to bring a smile or chuckle to others, you will be funnier, and be valued by others as someone who helps others to lighten up. <br />
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Get in the habit of giving yourself a daily ESTEEM BATH by: <br />
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1. Positive self-talk. When you look in the mirror each morning, and as you walk through the office door, say to yourself, "I am somebody special! I make a vital contribution to this organization!" “There are many ways and many opportunities for me to share my sense of humor.” List positive statements about yourself on a card. Record your short and long-term goals and objectives. Work with affirmations. Here is a recorded <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=54&pr_id=213&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">class</a> on the fascinating ancient spiritual wisdom and modern neurological science of affirmations. <br />
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2. The Risk/Reward proposition: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. In general, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. For starters, calculate smaller risks. Larger risks can come later. You need to get outside -but not too far outside- of your typical comfort zone. At first, set goals to take small risks every day or every week. Do something you have never done before or said you would never try again. Initiate a conversation with a stranger, eat dinner alone or do some public speaking. Tell a joke or otherwise share some humor with someone you know is friendly. Smile!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aR8UiP7UWik/UlRNsv0b7HI/AAAAAAAAAjw/FqgY8rSF02U/s1600/joke-with-a-friend.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="153" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aR8UiP7UWik/UlRNsv0b7HI/AAAAAAAAAjw/FqgY8rSF02U/s200/joke-with-a-friend.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Start small. Share your humor with one other person.</td></tr>
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3. Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from study and practice. You learn to be funnier the same way you learn to ride a bicycle: by the 'wobble method'. Keep a journal of successes and risks which brought rewards. Dig into your past and add to your journal any successes from the past you can recall. Learn from your mistakes and build on your history of coping with obstacles, solving problems, and finding work-arounds. Get feedback from someone you trust; someone who really understands humor. <br />
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4. Conquer unrealistic fears by learning the art of relaxation and deep breathing. When confronted with a anxious situations, take slow deep breaths. Do not hold your breath; that will only increase tension. You cannot feel fear and tranquility at the same time. <br />
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5. You don’t even have to say a word. Try this in private: <em>Inhale-Smile-Exhale</em>. Repeat several times. Try it while looking at yourself in a mirror. <em>Inhale-Smile-Exhale-With-An-Unforced-Chuckle</em>. Repeat several times. Try it with another person, maybe on an elevator. Make eye-contact but don’t stare! Try to look friendly.<br />
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6. Become aware of your appraisals. In any situation you usually make two appraisals. You estimate what’s at stake and you estimate your resources for dealing with the situation. Accurate estimates are important to give you confidence. Do not overestimate what’s at stake, e.g., is this really an emergency? Do not underestimate your resources, e.g., what skills and talents do you bring to the situation? What resources can you tap? Have you been reading up or taking a class on joke-telling? Have you been practicing? If so, you are entitled to feel more confident.<br />
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7. At work, develop enthusiasm for your job. The most promotable people find something exciting about their work. Try to discover how your work really fits into the organization and what it really means to the end-user/customer, e.g., welding parts for surgical tables may seem like routine assembly-line work until your realize how many lives are saved on them in hospitals each year. If you fail in this endeavor - if you can't find one thing rewarding about the job re-evaluate your career goals. <br />
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8. Motion creates emotion. Smile. Walk with your head high and your shoulders square. Look people in the eye. Put a spring in your step. Shake hands and introduce yourself. Find your inner warmth and sense of humor and convey them to others. Facial expression can affect emotions. Smile, and place your tongue at the point where your upper teeth meet the roof of your mouth. Hold that for 1-3 minutes. Why it works is too complicated to explain here. Just try it. (Want to learn dozens of quick ways to <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=20&pr_id=18&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">de-stress</a>?) <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C2_vt6g9314/UlRNvjMjdRI/AAAAAAAAAj4/lygak9wsIHo/s1600/smiling-group.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="120" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C2_vt6g9314/UlRNvjMjdRI/AAAAAAAAAj4/lygak9wsIHo/s400/smiling-group.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Smile. It increases your face value.</td></tr>
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9. Always look your best. Your appearance influences the way you feel. Smile: It increases your face value!<br />
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10. Volunteer to help others. Get in the habit of giving just because it feels good. Get in the habit of sharing humor because that feels good, too. Forward funny e-mails. Tweet out a one-liner. Show others humorous greeting cards or cartoons you collected.<br />
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11. Read biographies of successful people. Read about the great comedians. Read & collect <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/catalog.asp?cat_id=22" target="_blank">books</a> of riddles, jokes,a and funny stories. <br />
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12. Locate and develop all of your senses of humor; you have several. Become a <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=20&pr_id=15&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">Humor Powered</a> Person. Read my <a href="http://laughterandhumor.blogspot.com/2013/09/learning-to-let-go-and-laugh.html" target="_blank">blog</a> about finding your laughter. Attend self-development workshops. Stand-up comedy classes are not only for performers. They can make you funnier at parties, around the office, with friends, neighbors, and even strangers. Try <a href="http://www.jeffjustice.com/" target="_blank">Jeff Justice</a> or <a href="http://thecomedybook.com/" target="_blank">Dave Schwensen</a>. <br />
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13. Talk to yourself as kindly as you would talk to your best friend. Would you call your best friend ugly, incompetent, fat, or stupid? Then don't label yourself that way either. <br />
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14. Hang out with positive and funny people. People who care about themselves will find it pleasurable to be good to you. Don't hang around negative people. Two great hangouts are the <a href="http://www.aath.org/" target="_blank">Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor</a> and the <a href="http://www.hnu.edu/ishs/" target="_blank">International Society for Humor Studies</a>.<br />
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15. Get out of the ‘approval business’. Say good-bye to a "victim's" mentality. Quit focusing on how others have mistreated you. Stop value-judging, i.e., stop approving and disapproving of others. Stop looking to others for approval and you will soon find that other’s opinions of you have less power to bring you down. Do something nice for yourself instead. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WKS7noPslNQ/UlSRyV5HrsI/AAAAAAAAAkU/ELxQ9McyS3o/s1600/watch-me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="181" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WKS7noPslNQ/UlSRyV5HrsI/AAAAAAAAAkU/ELxQ9McyS3o/s320/watch-me.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stop tuning in to WOPT (What Other People Think)</td></tr>
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16. When faced with failure, say to yourself, "This situation didn't work out the way I would have liked." When you succeed, say to yourself, "I am pleased with these results. Good job!" Meet your own standards, don't compare yourself to others. When you tell a joke or otherwise share some humor (a bumper sticker, forwarded e-mail, a wind-up toy, a funny greeting card) that doesn’t get the laugh you hoped for, your humor may have been fine but just not to the other person’s tastes. It’s different jokes for different folks. Don’t insist that the person laugh. Try it with someone else.<br />
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17. Give yourself power by deciding what you can do in problem situations. Build strength through constructive action. Work toward accepting the things you cannot change. But, change the things you can. <a href="http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/19-ways-to-enhance-your-sense-of-humor/" target="_blank">Read</a> 19 ways to enhance your sense of humor. Take the one-hour <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=54&pr_id=247&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">recorded class</a> <em>“How to Be Funny(ier) And Tell A Joke”</em>. <br />
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18. Nobody has permanently high self-esteem. Nobody is funny every time or all of the time. Self-esteem can fluctuate even during the course of a single day. Your goal should be to have it fluctuate overall at higher rather than lower levels. Everyone is vulnerable to having their self-esteem knocked down. The idea is to practice ways of thinking and doing so that you don’t have extreme swings in self-esteem or self-confidence, and so that when you feel down you don’t stay down for very long. <br />
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Whether you want to boost your confidence in general, or your funniness, on or off the job, or both, high levels of self-confidence -and funniness- are something you work at, and it pays off.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2w4qPIwHiI/UlRN5tpHS_I/AAAAAAAAAkI/PO-UjSXSR9k/s1600/word-cloud-for-happy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2w4qPIwHiI/UlRN5tpHS_I/AAAAAAAAAkI/PO-UjSXSR9k/s400/word-cloud-for-happy.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This 'word cloud' is relevant of the payoff even <em>without</em> a 'joke'.</td></tr>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-42776817234934817012013-10-02T14:03:00.000-07:002013-10-18T11:46:14.734-07:00Ten More Commandments<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As holistically therapeutic allies, laughter and humor must encompass the role of attitudes and emotions in health and well-being. <br />
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That's why this advice has been on my mind and in my files for 40 years. <br />
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I am not the author. I have no idea where this originated. In fact, I tried a Google search to find out, only to be amazed at how many 'ten more commandments' have been suggested since the original ten.<br />
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IMHO, these are definitely worth your consideration, perhaps as necessary ingredients, for cultivating the mindset and actions that strengthen and sustain the good that humor and laughter can do.<br />
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Anyway, as my Austrian grandmother would say, "It vouldn't hurt!"<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. <br />Love them anyway. </span></div>
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2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. <br />
Do good anyway. </div>
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3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. <br />
Succeed anyway. </div>
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4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. <br />
Do good anyway. </div>
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5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. <br />
Be honest and frank anyway. </div>
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6. The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds. <br />
Think big anyway. </div>
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7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. <br />
Fight for a few underdogs anyway. </div>
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8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. <br />
Build anyway. </div>
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9. People really need help, but may attack you if you do help them. <br />
Help them anyway. </div>
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10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.</div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-60883729212534695682013-09-23T05:34:00.002-07:002013-09-23T05:34:59.861-07:00Learning to Let Go and Laugh<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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If you were a relatively happy kid (I was), you probably enjoyed many deep belly laughs (I did). You can remember times when giggle-fits had you and a friend collapsing into puddle-like pools, limp from laughter exhaustion for reasons you can no longer remember. (I sure did.)<br />
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This hardly ever happens to grown ups, even though we know for sure that it is quite beneficial. Really. It's scientific. But, like exercise, everybody knows it's good for them, but few do it with any regularity. Adults rarely let themselves be so out of control as to give in to such hysterical guffaws and giggle-fits that they actually double over with laughter or fall out of their chairs, let alone happily collapse.<br />
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Deep belly laughter--in fact, even gentle giggling and chuckling-- can release a tsunami of hormones and neurotransmitters that bathe your brain and circulate throughout your body. These wonderful chemicals throw switches in every system of the body to turn on to healthy functioning. <br />
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That's how mirthful laughter reduces and reverses stress-related chemistry, helps muscles relax, opens arteries to make it easier for blood to flow to the heart, helps digestion, and helps your immune system to work more efficiently. <br />
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These effects begin as soon as you experience mirthfulness, whenever you truly feel tickled by something, or are genuinely amused. And, if you can manage to laugh for as little as a minute (more is better), the effects can last for 24-48 hours, or until you get aggravated or stressed, whichever comes first.<br />
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<em><span style="font-size: large;">But wait! There’s hope! Act Now!</span></em><br />
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If you have been to a modern laughter club or laughter circle, you have already learned this. But if there are none close by, these guidelines will be a big help.<br />
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Th<strong>e simplest way:</strong><br />
<strong><em>First</em></strong> you give yourself permission to let go and laugh like crazy.<br />
<strong><em>Then</em></strong> take a nice deep breath, smile, let out the breath and let yourself chuckle.<br />
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<strong><em>If you need more step-by-step directions, try this</em></strong>:<br />
1. Sit in a quiet room alone. Plan to stay there for about 10 minutes. Loosen your belt. take off your shoes. <br />
2. Loosen any other tight clothing so that you will not feel restrained. Be sure to take off your tie. <br />
3. Think of a funny joke or a ridiculous event in your life. <br />
4. Take a nice deep breath, smile, let out the breath and let yourself chuckle.<br />
5. Do it again.<br />
6. Again.<br />
7. Typically, by the third try you will be able to begin to laugh out loud.<br />
8. Now, see if you can do it and laugh for at least 30 seconds. <br />
9. If this is difficult for you, plan to do it with a friend. This approach is usually effective because both people give permission to each other to be silly. <br />
10. If you are embarrassed when you first start, you may want to close your eyes. This will make everyone else disappear so that you can be more spontaneous. <br />
11. For more assistance you may want to play a tape of people laughing or watch comedy movies for your planned laughter times. You may also find it easy to laugh if you look at yourself for a long time in a mirror.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">RESOURCES TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR INNER LAUGHTER</span><br />
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<em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28ZSsH3UFWM" target="_blank">“Laughing To The Future”</a></em> - YouTube TEDx presentation<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Hugh McClelland is a Television Producer and Project Manager who has been a Certified Laughter Leader and Laughter Yoga Instructor since 2004. He has organized laughter training sessions and led laughter sessions for government departments, corporate sales teams, hospital care staff, cancer survivors, personal development <br />groups, and palliative care staff. </span><br />
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<em><a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=28&pr_id=164&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">"Finding Your Inner Laughter"</a></em> - Audio CD <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Certified Laughter Leader Carol Hubert uses her calming energy along with music, drumming, and guided imagery to lead the audience to laughter without jokes. This 90-minute audio recording of a live program guides you through all of the elements of a laughter session. You can experience the benefits of laughter exercises, relaxing, freeing up your mind, learning the six steps of Good-Hearted Living, and having fun. Listen and do the session along with the 600 people who were in the audience.</span> <br />
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<em><a href="http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs159/1101792595740/archive/1114290086147.html" target="_blank">"How to Create Therapeutic Laughter"</a></em> actually has wide-ranging applications for business, healthcare, and education. It encompasses all of the positive emotions for health, happiness, and productivity. It goes beyond the power of laughter to include a variety of Positive Activity Intervention activities, and the role of attitudes and emotions in health, healing and 'flourishing'. Anyone who might like more laughter in their live, or like to lead others in laughter therapy can do so by completing the course either in a 2-day workshop or through convenient home study, or both. It's all included. <br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;"></span></em><br />
<em><span style="font-size: large;">Take advantage of the fact that laughter is contagious by laughing along with recorded laughter</span>.</em> <br />
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<a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=16&pr_id=102&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">Laughter Unlimited</a> By Janet Lifshin <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">This is the most popular laughter recording of the past 6 years. A great value. You get 30 continuous minutes of the most contagious, infectious laughter you will ever hear. Produced by Vanessa Vendola and Certified Laughter Leader Janet Lifshin, this audio CD is a laughter classic.</span><br />
<a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=16&pr_id=48&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">LAUGHTER MEDITATION</a> By Pragito Dove <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">A practical tool for therapeutic laughter and personal growth. </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">Pragito Dove makes this experience accessible, practical, and powerful. A transformative healing process that enhances love, gracefulness, flexibility, and enjoyment in your life. E experience your sense of playfulness and fun with the Laughter Meditation. Pragito guides the listener through a complete meditation that induces feelings of harmony and well-being. From the author of <em>Lunchtime Enlightenment</em>.</span><br />
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<a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=16&pr_id=117&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">"Laughing Celebration</a>" By Sarito Sun<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">With more than 20 years as a Meditation Expert and Hypnotherapist, Sarito Sun is dedicated to helping people individually and in groups. Sarito believes that laughter, joy, and meditation are three of the most powerful ways to shower the world with peace, health, and prosperity. Starting in the 1970's, Sarito has worked with people from all walks of life, including renowned authors and spiritual leaders. In her own personal search, she has explored modern methods as well as powerful ancient techniques for awareness and meditation. Sarito provides group sessions for businesses and organizations, including the Chopra Center in La Costa, CA. She also teaches at Churches in the San Diego-LA area. </span><br />
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<strong>Please share this blog with anyone who might like to laugh more.</strong></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-65974555955987982892013-09-16T05:58:00.001-07:002013-09-16T08:52:53.382-07:00Prayer for The Birthday of the World: Happy 5774 Years<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During the time in my life when my flower-child hippie side was more conspicuous, there was lots of interest in vibrational energy. There was fascination with Far Eastern spiritual practices like Trancendental Meditation, and chemically-induced 'insights' to the interconnectedness of <em>all and everything</em>. We spoke of auras, mantras and chakras, and the importance of <em>being here now</em>. We referred to picking up on the vibrational energy of people and situations as “<em>vibes</em>”. The vibes could be good or bad, foreboding or comforting:<em> Hey, man, I like the vibes in this coffee house.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">There is now compelling contemporary evidence</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> that vibrational energy is real, detectable and influential. According to the <a href="http://www.heartmath.org/" target="_blank">Institute of Heartmath</a>, <em>“Every cell in your body is bathed in an environment of magnetic forces which are invisible to the human eye. Numerous rhythms within your body can synchronize with solar and geomagnetic activity.”</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Tradition, Not Literalism</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">According to Jewish tradition, on the evening when Rosh Hashana begins the world has a birthday. By this measure, this year on September 4 on the secular calendar the world became 5774 years old. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">In the Jewish religion, the ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Days of Awe</i> or the Days of Repentance. This important period, which always occurs in the autumn, is devoted to serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent before Yom Kippur. Among the customs of this time it is common to seek reconciliation with people you may have wronged during the course of the year. These are days that call for sincere personal reflection and affirming better intentions for the coming year. This holiday is both solemn and joyous since it is both the Day of Repentance or Day of Judgement and <em>the birthday of the world</em>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">What does
that have to do with laughter therapy?<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">One of the basic principles of laughter therapy is that the
method and programs are non-religious; participation is not restricted by
religious belief. An important part of our therapeutic strategy is to be open
to welcome everybody. Proselytizing is not permitted. Group prayer,
in the traditional form of spiritual communion with a deity, is not part of the
program. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Recent scientific <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/08/meaning-is-healthier-than-happiness/278250/" target="_blank">evidence</a> points to important distinctions in human well-being depending on whether your <em>happiness</em> is hedonic-based (feel-good pleasure), or eudaimonic-based (virtue or altruism). This research strongly suggests that our well-being depends more on meaning than happiness. Another <a href="http://www.nbcnews.com/health/your-brain-happy-machine-can-read-your-emotions-6C10381924" target="_blank">study</a>, using fMRI technology, revealed that brain activation patterns are specific to particular induced (genuine) emotions. Extrapolating from these findings, I infer that inclusion of activities such as <em><a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/pdfs/ghl.pdf" target="_blank">Good-Hearted Living</a></em><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(tm)</span> along with activities that induce true mirthful laughter makes for a program (laughter therapy) that is more likely to lead to well-being than one that has people doing only laughter exercises, or worse, faking laughing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">As we continue to illuminate the human condition, especially our understanding of the better nature of humankind, we have expanded laughter therapy from a simple set of so-called laughter exercises to activities that go beyond the act of mirthful laughter. We incorporate the promotion and cultivation of the <a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/pdfs/fullbelly.pdf" target="_blank">attitudes, emotions, and conditions</a> that incline people to laughter; affirmation, meditation, ‘holding a good thought or positive
intention’, and contributing to community and society are encouraged. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />Speaking most broadly, prayer does not have to involve a deity.
When seeking solutions to human problems, one can concentrate on thanksgiving, earnest
requests, petitions, or entreaties to oneself, one’s neighbors, government, or to
the energy of cosmos.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Days of Awe” - What’s that? And, what does
that have to do with laughter therapy?</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Awe is one of the most wonderfully healthy emotions. I would put it as one of the top 5 significant emotions a human being can experience (gratitude and hope are two of the others). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>In contemporary vernacular slang,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">awesome </i>is a simple shorthand way to refer to something that is very impressive: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That new white convertible is totally awesome</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">More traditionally (and therapeutically) it is an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like. Something that is ‘awesome’ has the power to inspire fear or reverence. Combining the two usages, it refers to something that is so wonderful and impressive, often something in nature, that it blows your mind: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">That sunset was awesome!</i></span></div>
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Laughter therapy is an eclectic method that has roots in
Norman Cousins’ now well-verified belief that in addition to
humor and laughter, all of the positive emotions are beneficial for human
beings. <em>“Careful readers of my book </em>[Anatomy of an Illness]<em>, however, knew that
laughter was just a metaphor for the entire range of the positive emotions. Hope,
faith, love, will to live, cheerfulness, humor, creativity, playfulness,
confidence, great expectations--all these, I believed had therapeutic
value"</em> (p. 50).</div>
</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LEvw2m94Iac/UjX0FYZ5FVI/AAAAAAAAAhs/NT5SD_lTwqU/s1600/Norman-Cousins-color_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LEvw2m94Iac/UjX0FYZ5FVI/AAAAAAAAAhs/NT5SD_lTwqU/s200/Norman-Cousins-color_2.jpg" width="197" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Norman Cousins</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">All of that said, here for your consideration is the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Days-of-Awe</i> prayer written by Rabbi Howard
L. Apothaker, Temple Beth Shalom, New Albany, Ohio, for inclusion in their Yom
Kippur 5774 religious services. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">As you read these virtuous ideals, you may want to focus on them verbatim (as written) or consider trying this prayer as a series of affirmations, meditations, mantras, or visualizations of intention for a better world. You may want to substitute “We pray”
with words that are more comfortable or meaningful to you, such as “I contribute
to…” or “I focus on…” or "I visualize...". Experiment to find the words that suit you best.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><u>An Acrostic "Days of Awe" Prayer</u></strong> <br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Written by Rabbi Howard L. Apothaker</span> </div>
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During these Days of Awe, we pray for open minds and open hearts, encompassing the A-to-Z, from Awe to Zeal, for returning to our most humane conduct.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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We pray for an end to animosity, and a return to affability. <br />
We pray for an end to bigotry, and a return to blessing. <br />
We pray for an end to cruelty, and a return to caring. <br />
We pray for an end to deception, and a return to devotion. <br />
We pray for an end to enmity, and a return to engagement. <br />
We pray for an end to faultfinding, and a return to forgiveness. <br />
We pray for an end to greed, and a return to generosity. <br />
We pray for an end to hostility, and a return to heartfulness. <br />
We pray for an end to injustice, and a return to integrity. <br />
We pray for an end to jingoism, and a return to judiciousness. <br />
We pray for an end to Klannishness, and a return to kindness. <br />
We pray for an end to lewdness, and a return to love. <br />
We pray for an end to maliciousness, and a return to mercy. <br />
We pray for an end to nastiness, and a return to niceness. <br />
We pray for an end to obstinacy, and a return to open-mindedness. <br />
We pray for an end to prejudice, and a return to peacefulness. <br />
We pray for an end of querulousness, and a return to quietude. <br />
We pray for an end to ridicule, and a return to respect. <br />
We pray for an end to selfishness, and a return to sacrifice. <br />
We pray for an end to trash-talk, and a return to tact. <br />
We pray for an end to violence, and a return to values. <br />
We pray for an end to warfare, and a return to welcoming. <br />
We pray for an end to xenophobia, and a return to examination of self. <br />
We pray for an end to yelling insults, and to a return to yielding ground. <br />
We pray for an end to zero-sum, and a return to zeal for cooperation. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
May this "alphabet of prayers" reflect the breadth of our concern for our people, for all peoples, for every person; at this time, through all time, in our time; and for all humane convictions and creeds. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
AMEN. </div>
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The thoughts you hold become your actions and your character and your destiny.These are some pretty good thoughts to hold onto. Concentrate on them and let them guide your actions. They resonate with virtuous ideals. The more you think and act on these, the more likely you are to enhance your well-being. And, with each step closer to these conditions, the more likely you are to experience good vibes, man, well-being, and true mirthful laughter.</div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-37044510158070452712013-09-10T00:00:00.000-07:002013-09-11T05:55:33.228-07:00Make Your Life More Playful<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child
at play. <br />
-Heraclitus<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem; dulce est desipere in loco. <br />(Mix a
little foolishness with your prudence: it's good to be silly at the right
moment.) -Horace</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></i> </div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Don't ever let your mind keep you from having a good time. -Jason Mraz<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>A sense of playfulness is the best defense against taking yourself too seriously. <br />-Peter Kai Chang</em></span></div>
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<em><span style="font-family: Arial;">I think entrepreneurship is our natural state -a big adult word that boils down to something much more obvious like playfulness. -Richard Branson</span></em></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Playfulness is more important than play. According to <a href="http://www.parents.com/blogs/red-hot-parenting/2013/05/09/health/why-playfulness-is-more-important-than-play/" target="_blank">SteveGross</a>, Executive Director – and Chief Playmaker – of <em>The Life is good
Playmakers</em>, “We all know that it is critical for kids of all ages to play. And
we know that play can take many forms. But there’s a deeper idea about the
importance for kids to learn how to be playful – and how that spirit should
permeate their development.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">The same goes for adults.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">One of the surest techniques for being playful is to not
keep score. As soon as you start keeping score or comparing one person’s
performance to another, playfulness goes away and self-esteem is at stake. Stress
and striving start, and unhappiness looms with the prospect of falling short,
losing, or failing.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-ways-to-make-your-life-more-playful/" target="_blank">10 Ways to MakeYour Life More Playful</a></i>, Melissa Kirk, says, “When we lose ourselves in
play, whether creating a make-believe world, throwing a ball between friends,
frolicking with our dog, or watching silly YouTube videos, we allow ourselves
to get out of the linear, problem-solution, adult mindset. We’re activating a
part of our brains that we don’t use much in the grown-up world: the one that
doesn’t care about deadlines or mortgages or how much we weigh, the one that
doesn’t care how we look to others.”</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><a href="http://www.deepfun.com/" target="_blank">Bernie Dekoven</a>, author of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Well Played Game, observes, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>"Even
though I rigorously claim that ‘the playful path is the shortest road to
happiness,’ it often happens that we don’t choose to be playful. We could, but
we don’t. Maybe we’re not happy enough. Maybe some perverse part of ourselves
is having more fun being miserable. But even the best of us, even the most
professionally playful of us, forget to be playful. And even though we have the
choice and we know we have the choice, we simply can’t get ourselves to play.
We can’t act playfully, or feel playful or be playful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">"Sure, we can play the same kinds of games we played
when we were children, but experiencing those same games, as adults, weaving
them into the context of what we have since learned and experienced and
dreamed, the games become something else, we become something more. We care for
each other differently. We appreciate each other differently. We play with each
other differently.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">"For many reasons, it can take us years, decades before
we can allow ourselves embrace fun and silliness the way we once did when we
were children. And when we finally make it back, we discover that we are
different, and it is different; and yet it welcomes us, embraces us as
powerfully, as naturally, as meaningfully as it did when we last understood its
place in our lives – more meaningfully, because we are adults, and we must, not
because, but in spite of it all, choose to have fun, to be silly."</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Techniques to
Facilitate Play Behavior </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">1.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">List
three times or periods in your life during each week when you are free from
responsibility.
</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">2.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Go
back to your own childhood and think about the kind of play you enjoyed at that
time.
</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">3.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Pay
attention to your dreams and daydreams about play. For one month keep a journal
record of your dreams. Pay attention to the ones that are particularly free,
spontaneous, and joyful.
</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">4.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Plan
to spend at least two hours each week watching children play. Do this for one
month. Do you find yourself smiling inside as you watch them? What kinds of
activities are they experiencing? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4SiR5XJ4LWw/Ui4SghpW9LI/AAAAAAAAAgM/3OFxbxjnbxs/s1600/adult-play-with-kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4SiR5XJ4LWw/Ui4SghpW9LI/AAAAAAAAAgM/3OFxbxjnbxs/s200/adult-play-with-kids.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">5.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Plan
to play with children during the week. If you have your own children, make a
special effort to play with them ''just for the fun of it.” Did you laugh out
loud during your play with them?
</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">6.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">List
three friends who are most playful and fun to be with. Think about how you
could plan to spend more time with these people. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>
</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">7.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Think
about the kind of environment or setting that you need for play. Do you need to
be outside your home? Do you need to be wearing special "play"
clothes? Is there a special room in your home where you feel most free and
spontaneous?
</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">8.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Lock
the bathroom door and look at yourself in the mirror. Try to think serious and
then humorous thoughts. Smile at yourself in the mirror for two minutes.
</span></div>
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<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">9.</span><span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Practice
laughing with a friend. If necessary, have that friend tickle you. Tell each
other jokes. go to a silly movie, Make a tape of yourself laughing and plan to
play it back in privacy when you are feeling most depressed. </span></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0North America47.46349334094365 -78.536368700000025-25.952172659056352 116.22925629999997 90 86.698006299999975tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-34932146565607745712013-08-30T08:04:00.000-07:002013-08-30T08:04:48.617-07:00The Joy of Sox (Jest for Laughs)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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1. CAN THE HUMAN RACE SURVIVE WITHOUT SOX? <br />This is a question that cannot be answered! Mankind has never TRIED to go without sox. From the beginning of time, men and women have been wrapped up in sox! <br />
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<br />2. HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED SOX? <br />Check your drawers! If it looks like you really need sox, go to it! Some people don't even bother checking their drawers. They go after sox anytime the urge strikes. Remember, sox is natural! There is nothing wrong with impulsive soxual fulfillment! <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SIRgU4oxyOE/UiCxeWyvbQI/AAAAAAAAAfU/gsZqklyFXcQ/s1600/hello-kitty-socks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-SIRgU4oxyOE/UiCxeWyvbQI/AAAAAAAAAfU/gsZqklyFXcQ/s200/hello-kitty-socks.jpg" width="111" /></a></div>
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3. BEFORE YOU SHARE SOX WITH SOMEONE, DO YOU HAVE TO BE IN LOVE? <br />No! But you should at least be good friends or like the person. Sharing sox is a very close, intimate experience and should not be taken lightly. <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RzUwFScF7xg/UiCxUngif7I/AAAAAAAAAfA/RcrG6XU4k74/s1600/toe+socks-purple-pink.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RzUwFScF7xg/UiCxUngif7I/AAAAAAAAAfA/RcrG6XU4k74/s200/toe+socks-purple-pink.jpg" width="193" /></a></div>
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4. WHO NEEDS SOX MORE ... MEN OR WOMEN? <br />For many years it was thought that men need sox more than women. This is a fallacy (or is it phallusy?)! Women need and enjoy sox every bit as much as men! Although men often prefer coarse sox, many ladies of good background go after sheer sox thrills! <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eilu1reER4Q/UiCxS6usVwI/AAAAAAAAAeM/MOnF5lfxoBE/s1600/female-dance-socks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eilu1reER4Q/UiCxS6usVwI/AAAAAAAAAeM/MOnF5lfxoBE/s200/female-dance-socks.jpg" width="200" /></a> </div>
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5. HOW OFTEN DO YOU NEED SOX? <br />Most people enjoy sox once a day. Some like sox twice a day ... but everyone agrees that sox just once a week stinks! <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xEnrOIvkBsI/UiCxgXUsN8I/AAAAAAAAAfc/YkeDRK4OEoM/s1600/multi-socks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="109" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xEnrOIvkBsI/UiCxgXUsN8I/AAAAAAAAAfc/YkeDRK4OEoM/s320/multi-socks.jpg" width="320" /></a><br /></div>
6. HOW CAN YOU MAKE SOX LAST LONGER? <br />Be very gentle. Never wring, twist, use hot water or pinch with a clothespin. <br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gyC63euurAo/UiCxS6iRKFI/AAAAAAAAAeI/e9gyIUzrM_8/s1600/3+fun+sock+patterns.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gyC63euurAo/UiCxS6iRKFI/AAAAAAAAAeI/e9gyIUzrM_8/s200/3+fun+sock+patterns.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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7. WHAT ABOUT SAFE SOX? <br />Always practice safe sox to avoid soxually transmitted diseases! <br />
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-62298177515083370512013-08-29T13:43:00.000-07:002013-08-29T13:43:55.754-07:00THE FUN-MINUTE MANAGER <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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This Ziggy cartoon illustrates the anti-pleasure, anti-joy, anti-happiness attitude that our society frequently imposes on us in the workplace. Ideas such as “work before play" and the notion that we don't deserve pleasure until all of our work is done, cause many people enormous undeserved guilt and anxiety simply because they took some time to be playful. According to formidable evidence about the relationship between happiness and success, these <em>anhedonic</em> attitudes are likely to be counter-productive. <br />
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<em>Anhedonia</em> is the pervasive and damaging mental and emotional condition in which the ability to experience maximum pleasure in life is restricted or curtailed. It wouldn't surprise me if most people in our culture suffer from some degree of anhedonia. Until they correct it they cannot fully enjoy life. They experience guilt, fear, anger, depression, boredom, tension, fatigue, illness and, variations on those painful emotional themes. <br />
<br />We cannot effectively solve life's problems, large or small, if we don't take time off to refresh ourselves and recharge our batteries. <br />
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<br />I have long understood that it is not psychologically economical to constantly dwell on a problem. It is advantageous to allow yourself to balance fretful worry with time off. <br />
<br />Shawn Achor, the CEO of Good Think and the author of The Happiness Advantage (Crown Business, 2010), has lots of evidence that happiness is important to the company’s bottom-line. “It's clear that increasing your happiness improves your chances of success,” he says. “Developing new habits, nurturing your coworkers, and thinking positively about stress are good ways to start. For companies, happy employees mean better bottom-line results. Employees who score low in ‘life satisfaction,’ stay home an average of 1.25 more days a month, a 2008 study by Gallup Healthways shows. That translates into a decrease in productivity of 15 days a year.<br />
<br />He cites another study that found that employees who score high in ‘life satisfaction’ are significantly more likely to receive high ratings from customers. Retail stores that scored higher on employee life satisfaction generated $21 more in earnings per square foot of space than the other stores, adding $32 million in additional profits for the whole chain.”<br />
<br />Achor suggests making a list of the stresses you’re under. “Place them into two groups—the ones you can control (like a project or your in-box) and those you can’t (the stock market, housing prices). Choose one stress that you can control and come up with a small, concrete step you can take to reduce it. In this way you can nudge your brain back to a positive—and productive—mind-set.”<br />
<br />I would add my strong suggestion that the small, concrete step may well involve a short respite from your problems, including time spent in activities that are pleasurable: a nap, a massage, an ice-cream cone, a manicure, a walk, a funny movie, a comedy club. Putting your worries in a compartment where you won’t be distracted by them for a couple for hours or days, may be the best way to let your brain incubate on solutions and come up with the best ones.<br />
<br />Being totally immersed , involved, and absorbed with our problems narrows our perspective so we can't see all sides of the situation and we don't do our best thinking about coping and finding solutions. Wallowing in worry is wasteful; we become overwhelmed and our mental faculties overload to the point of shutdown or, worse, making bad decisions.<br />
<br />Claiming permission for our own guilt-free laughter, pleasure, and play infuses more energizing and productive attitudes and emotions into all aspects of life, at home, at work, or wherever, is the process by which we can overcome our anhedonic tendencies. <br />
<br />One of the psychological dynamics of humor is that it shows us other ways of looking at things. The humorous perspective, often referred to as psychological distance, gives us temporary relief from the stress of worry and the opportunity to see more resources and better ways of dealing with situations.<br />
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<br />When Dr. Kenneth Blanchard, co-author of "The One Minute Manager", renowned speaker and management consultant was interviewed by Joel Goodman, founder of <a href="http://humorproject.com/" target="_blank">The Humor Project</a> and editor of Laughing Matters, he offered thoughts about people, productivity, and the world of work that had a touch of the humorous perspective:<br />
<br /><em>"The ultimate in self-actualization,” Blanchard said, “is when a person is confused about the difference between employment and recreation." </em><br />
<em><br />"A university is defined as thousands of people gathered around a common parking problem." <br />
<br />"One day a little girl asked her mother, "Mommy, why does Daddy br1ng so much work home at night?" "Because he doesn’t have time to finish it at work," answered the mother. "Then why don't they put him in a slower group?" asked the little girl. <br />
<br />"The value of being able to laugh at ourselves when we make a mistake: it helps us get on with our work."</em><br />
In and of themselves, humor, laughter, and play may not be solutions, but properly applied they can lead to good solutions and turn run-of-the-mill into <em>fun-of-the-mill</em>. Try them soon! <br />
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Learn more about the topic at:<br />
<a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/" target="_blank">World Laughter Tour, Inc.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.aath.org/" target="_blank">The Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hnu.edu/ishs/index.htm" target="_blank">The International Society for Humor Studies</a></div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-16677366797692828122013-06-27T00:30:00.000-07:002013-06-27T00:30:02.770-07:00Women at Work: Funny AND Successful<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Humor-wise,
author, humorist, and feminist, Dr. Gina Barreca, sees the world changing for
women at work. "Humor from women," she says, "is not only
increasingly acceptable both individually and in a professional setting: it’s
expected. It’s regarded as part of leadership skill-set. Humor is an indication
of quick-thinking, careful listening, an ability to take controlled risks and
the desire to play well with others."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Here's my ad<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">vice for
women about being funny at work: use humor strategically. See details below. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">There
is evidence that a woman’s good sense of humor can benefit her career. When 200
executives were asked to name the qualities that kept women from succeeding,
lack of a sense of humor was near the top of the list. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Using
humor improves a woman’s chances of attracting power and credibility, but women
should be aware of a double standard when attempting to inject some humor into
a situation. A woman telling a joke is not likely be viewed with the same
acceptance as a man telling the same joke. So says psychologist Steve Wilson,
an internationally recognized authority on applied and therapeutic humor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";"></span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";"><strong><em>Viva la Difference?</em></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Understanding the gender issues associated with humor helps women benefit from the strategic use of humor, which has traditionally been available primarily to men in the workplace.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Men and women have somewhat different senses of humor; women's humor tends to be kinder than men's. </span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Men will joke about almost anything (gratuitous humor); women's humor tends to be empathetic, situational, or funny stories about the family or everyday life; creating harmony where there has been tension. </span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Men tend to be comfortable telling jokes to anyone who will listen; typically, women are more comfortable telling jokes to small groups of people they know well. </span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Women have greater social permission than men to laugh at even the smallest amount of humor. Men often feel a “masculine imperative” to make others laugh while also daring others to “make me laugh!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">In our culture, it is generally expected that the man will initiate the humor and the woman will be passive and receptive; and, men and women have different comfort levels about taking center stage or having power.</span></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 7pt/normal "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Men are more expected to be able to take "practical" jokes and dish them out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<o:p></o:p></span><div class="MsoPlainText" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Management
consultant, Dr. Barbara Mackoff says that women in business need to show a good
sense of humor. “In reality,” she says, "a woman can be funny and still
maintain her credibility."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";"></span> </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-98845ijYMwo/UcsbYa5poHI/AAAAAAAAAck/DWOAWvJGbsQ/s1600/Lucille-Ball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-98845ijYMwo/UcsbYa5poHI/AAAAAAAAAck/DWOAWvJGbsQ/s1600/Lucille-Ball.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Funny, credible, and VERY successful</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Writing
for FORBES about humor as a key to success at work, Jacquelyn Smith says, “Whatever
the reason might be, if you or your colleagues tend to be dry and dull in the
office, you’ll want to work on injecting more humor into your workday.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Smith quotes Lynn Taylor, workplace expert, “You
don’t have to be a stand-up comedian, but well-placed humor that is clever and apropos
to a business situation always enhances an employee's career.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Showing one’s good sense of humor has advantages in hiring,
promotion, and leadership opportunities. Long the hallmark of a pleasant
personality, employees with a sense of humor are viewed as having highly
desirable traits required of today’s leaders, executives, managers and
supervisors: flexible, creative, and adaptable to change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">When
you use humor you do not stop being serious about your responsibilities,
values, goals, and beliefs; you show that you can take yourself lightly. Studies
show that executives believe that employees with a sense of humor do a better
job; and, CEOs prefer job candidates with a sense of humor. The two most
desirable traits in leaders were found to be a strong work ethic and a good
sense of humor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Donna Couper, a business
consultant, says, "Even in a job interview, assuming you're qualified for
the position, showing that you have a sense of humor will make your prospective
employer feel more comfortable with you."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Effective
work teams develop a special form of group humor called "the inside
joke", a humor-in-common language that plays a bonding role, strengthening
loyalty, and making the work environment more pleasant and, yes, more
productive, too.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Much
joking fits in with a competitive style that is more comfortable for men.
Certainly, women do tell jokes, and many can do it well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, according to Professor Deborah
Tannen, "Since [women] are not driven to seek and hold center stage in a
group, they do not need a store of jokes to whip out for this purpose."
She also reported, "There are fewer such (story-telling) personalities
among women than among men. Many women who do tell jokes to large groups of
people come from ethnic backgrounds in which verbal performance is highly
valued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many women are less likely than
men to tell jokes in large groups, especially groups including men."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Jenna
Goudreau, FORBES staff writer about business and women’s leadership, calls the
idea that humor is dangerous in the office is “old-school HR.” Rapidly going
out of vogue are Victorian ideas about laughter and humor such as: women should
always be able to take a joke but not get a certain innuendo; women should
laugh along with the laugh track; smile perpetually; and, women should not
laugh with their mouths open. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><strong><em>Advice
For Women Using Humor At Work<o:p></o:p></em></strong></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">1. Don't
merely imitate men's humor. Women's humor has the advantage of tending to be
more personal and situational, with the effect of being harmonizing.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">2. You
do not need to tell jokes: a warm smile, a true story, the “Erma Bombeck” view
of things, or a well-timed ad lib can bring even more benefits than jokes.
Beverly Sills said, "I can't be happy every day, but at least I can be
cheerful."<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">3. Use
only humor that fits you, that fits the occasion and the audience, and when the
time is right (not “too soon”).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">4.
Promote the use of humor in company newsletters and on bulletin boards.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">5.
Encourage "humor breaks" or times when everyone can lighten up for a
few minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">6. If
the joke has to be "on" someone, make it yourself, but NEVER belittle
yourself with a joke.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">7. Don't
poke fun at abilities, race, religion, gender<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>or anything that other people couldn't change in the next five minutes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">8. If
you do decide to tell jokes, practice privately until you can tell them well.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><strong><em>CAUTIONS:</em></strong>
Be wary of humor overkill. The “class clown” may be a distraction and barrier
to teamwork. When it comes to humor, everyone must be sensitive and sensible.
There is no place in the work place for humor that is sarcastic, ridiculing, uses
taboo language, or is sexual, sexist, racist, age-ist, or otherwise puts people
down. Use humor that lifts people up, and draws them together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS Mincho";">Goudreau cites psychologist Steven Sultanoff,
PhD, an expert on applied humor, saying, “used effectively, humor helps
people get along, decreases turnover and increases productivity. And that’s no
joke.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0United States39.99315223383423 -82.94781804084777833.497066733834231 -93.274966540847771 46.48923773383423 -72.620669540847786tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-70166429815604039132013-06-10T10:24:00.002-07:002013-06-10T10:24:37.891-07:00Why I Love AATH (and why you might want to join)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QntjS8Bd64w/UazfYSwTlDI/AAAAAAAAAZc/UWxypinjQYM/s1600/aath_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QntjS8Bd64w/UazfYSwTlDI/AAAAAAAAAZc/UWxypinjQYM/s200/aath_logo.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I have been a member of <a href="http://www.aath.org/" target="_blank">Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor</a> (AATH) for more than 20 years. It's a pretty nice group to belong to. If you belong, you have already experienced what I am about to describe. If you are not yet a member, you might want to consider joining. I have memberships in other organizations in this field, but AATH suits me in particular ways that I will try to explain. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">AATH epitomizes the sage advice to <em>take your responsibilities seriously but take yourself lightly</em>. </span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tykuSiMEE8k/UbHtcZJgM7I/AAAAAAAAAZs/akZKmTqyCLc/s1600/AATH-HAG-2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tykuSiMEE8k/UbHtcZJgM7I/AAAAAAAAAZs/akZKmTqyCLc/s320/AATH-HAG-2013.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AATH Humor Academy Graduates - Keen Minds, Kind Hearts, Quick Wits</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">AATH inspired and encouraged me to create the most worthwhile professional endeavor of my life, to reach around the world for humor’s sake, and create the <a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/" target="_blank">World Laughter Tour</a>.</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A4CoJwjJg2s/UbHt7eXwiiI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/sPcAozbkAdk/s1600/WLT_logo_globe&sine_website.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-A4CoJwjJg2s/UbHt7eXwiiI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/sPcAozbkAdk/s320/WLT_logo_globe&sine_website.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong>Walking the Talk: The Medium is the Message</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">T</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">hrough the AATH website, newsletter, and especially at their conferences, you get to laugh and learn and be inspired. You get support for being a person who believes that humor and fun are important life forces. You get to associate with the leading thinkers and researchers in the field, and discover that they are accessible and down to earth. You are encouraged to develop your personal brand of accomplishing lofty laughter goals, contributing to a better world, and having fun, too. That alone is worth the price of admission.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">AATH is a professional association. You become a member. Membership has its benefits. What attracted me to it in the first place? What keeps
me coming back? What do I hope will never change?</span></div>
<strong><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The More Things Change, The More I Would Like Some Things to Stay the Same</span></strong><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Change has been trending for several years in how people
affiliate, communicate and educate. A trend toward home exercise equipment
instead of going out to a fitness club. A trend toward e-mail and texting instead
of writing letters or making a phone call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Updating</span> on social
media instead of meeting at the local coffee house. Getting information by surfing the
Internet instead of subscribing to print magazines and journals; staying home
instead of traveling to attend professional conferences.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">These trends have
affected AATH. To remain viable, AATH will go with the flow and make changes that will be real improvements. But, some things cannot be replaced with modern technology. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><em>Life is a psycho-social proposition. We are social animals. If we don't get the social part of life right, we will go psycho! AATH has a beautiful social side.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">My AATH friends believe in me even when I am unbelievable.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do that for each other
and for everyone who shares that vision.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bIxYeaHlJ1Q/UbHvWS4kpnI/AAAAAAAAAaI/yE--tq_Tpds/s1600/P0000957-shw-fry-leigh-crop-en-adj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="224" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bIxYeaHlJ1Q/UbHvWS4kpnI/AAAAAAAAAaI/yE--tq_Tpds/s320/P0000957-shw-fry-leigh-crop-en-adj.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rubbing Elbows With the Best & Brightest</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Other organizations are more focused on doing the
scholarly research about humor, or exploring the literary depths of wit and humor, but AATH is the ‘nuts & bolts’ of
therapeutic humor, with a strong focus on <em>practical applications</em>. </span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fD5CNteIxik/UbH05nosMOI/AAAAAAAAAa0/AaDXSOOo-rQ/s1600/P0002438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fD5CNteIxik/UbH05nosMOI/AAAAAAAAAa0/AaDXSOOo-rQ/s320/P0002438.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cooler Heads Prevail</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">AATH helps me understand the science of humor and its
implications for the human condition and a better world. The membership
is largely clearly compassionate comrades who use their humorous perspectives to promote harmony, peace and love.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">AATH communications and conferences are fun, although not just
for fun; they are entertaining, but not just for entertainment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">AATH has a nurturing quality toward its members and toward the larger world. We honor those who paved the way, from Hierokles and
Philagrios to Norman Cousins, Vera Robinson, Jerry Lewis, Dr. William Fry, Jr., and Red Skelton.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I think these qualities are deep in the roots and origins of AATH, which e</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">volved out of an organization called "NFL - Nurses For Laughter"; healthcare professionals who banded together to
support each other to exploit humor in every positive way. They brought with
them an appreciation of good science and standards of practice and, in spite of a dearth
of evidence compared to what is now available, they had insights into the
possibilities that humor could play a
significant role in caring and healing. They knew that having fun could bring them relief from their occupational stresses without diminishing their
professionalism, and might actually help them be more effective. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><strong>The Mix is Magical</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">In AATH there is an odd mixture of smart, talented, witty people and ideas that I
find very appealing. Serious and goofy, supportive and caring friendships, silly
and simultaneously trying to illuminate the human condition. This creates an energy and a balance that I like.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AyJ5m4pIg4A/UbH8s8duNBI/AAAAAAAAAb0/uDA5Wu59kyw/s1600/ha-ha-brain-no-cap.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AyJ5m4pIg4A/UbH8s8duNBI/AAAAAAAAAb0/uDA5Wu59kyw/s320/ha-ha-brain-no-cap.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Clowns, jugglers, patients, poets, musicians, comedians, educators, and scientists welcome the opportunity to mix it up. A fabulous mix of funny and serious personalities discovers that they are actually like-minded, kind-hearted folks. Some are thinking about humor; most are doing something about it in venues of business, healthcare, and education. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">This is the place where I can take in a lecture on ‘humor
and pain’, perform my yo-yo tricks, join my esteemed colleagues putting napkins over
our heads while miming eating clown noses at a banquet, and watch otherwise
serious professionals let loose creative send-ups of who we are. </span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XzdvBkBJQ7I/UbHv6H5syUI/AAAAAAAAAaM/_n4482QHjlM/s1600/Klein&Kwan-napkin.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XzdvBkBJQ7I/UbHv6H5syUI/AAAAAAAAAaM/_n4482QHjlM/s320/Klein&Kwan-napkin.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g3y1wQFoKv4/UbHv9-dK-qI/AAAAAAAAAaU/X_yTPRO-O9A/s1600/dinnerfun10-crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g3y1wQFoKv4/UbHv9-dK-qI/AAAAAAAAAaU/X_yTPRO-O9A/s320/dinnerfun10-crop.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I hope that the values and character that come from the roots of AATH will not change. They are reasons I have maintained my membership for so
many years. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">From time to
time, I attend the conferences of related organizations, but, AATH remains my favorite.
I hope it will thrive and grow and make a place for people like me for a long,
long time. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Every week during the 16 seasons of the series of <em><a href="http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/dancing-with-the-stars/cast-announcement" target="_blank">Dancing With The Stars,</a></em>
contestants have been kept in suspense as to whether they are “safe” and will get to
compete again, or whether they are “in jeopardy” and therefore might have to leave the
show.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Being in jeopardy is nerve-wracking. Being safe is
uplifting, and it renews hope.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">My wish for AATH: Be safe and stay seriously funny for a long
time. Continue to be vibrant and relevant and fun in your own
unique way. I'm glad I am a member. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Maybe you would like to join, too? <a href="http://www.aath.org/" target="_blank">AATH</a></span></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-16168655828585339862013-02-10T06:02:00.003-08:002013-02-10T06:08:35.374-08:00A Funny Valentine Could Be Serious, Re-visited<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em><strong>"</strong></em></span><span style="font-size: small;"><em><strong>In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorces per week." </strong></em></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">-McKinley Irvin blog</span></div>
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At about this time every year --near Valentine's Day-- I check the latest statistics on marriage and divorce. I figure that if divorce rates are declining substantially, I will stop giving advice to the lovelorn. Here we go again.<br />
<br />
Discovering the succinct if shocking facts in several sources this year, I decided to explain some of the most powerful ideas for finding lasting love in a recorded one-hour webinar <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=54&pr_id=241&mo=&ft=" target="_blank"><em>"Authentic Intimacy: Finding Lasting Love"</em></a>. Now, couples can study the 14 Predictors for Dating Relationships, the<em> </em>27 Terms & Conditions For Successful Marriage, and how to add a healthy dose of humor,<em> ad infinitum</em> (or <em>ad nauseum</em>, whichever comes first).<br />
<br />
As a BONUS, I suggest <em>2 Moral Obligations</em> and <em>6 Nearly Magical Phrases</em> that will keep relationships humming along. These strategies may come too late to save already failing marriages, or those already disrupted by divorce, but they can be insurance for the success of love in the future. <br />
<br />
<strong>Let's compare notes.</strong> In addition to having gotten my own nose bloodied (so to speak) in a few relationships, I have counselled hundreds of people about relationships professionally. Taking my own advice, I have been on the relationship practice-makes-perfect-program and believe I have finally got it right. <br />
<br />
I am especially interested in hearing the advice you would you give to those seeking long-lasting love if you have found a way to get out of the <em>relationship revolving door</em> and into a successful love relationship, or if you are in one of the occupations where people tend to talk a lot about their relationships (bartender, taxi driver, barber or hairdresser).<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EhdHlF6im_o/URa8yx1DhOI/AAAAAAAAAWc/bHpfDdhmdxI/s1600/VALNTN1-Cupid-x199.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EhdHlF6im_o/URa8yx1DhOI/AAAAAAAAAWc/bHpfDdhmdxI/s1600/VALNTN1-Cupid-x199.jpg" /></a></div>
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Most people already know that around 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. The number is similarly high in many other developed nations.<br />
<br />
When you break that down by number of marriages:<br />
■41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.<br />
■60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.<br />
■73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.<br />
<br />
The average length of a marriage that ends in divorce is eight years.<br />
<br />
People wait an average of three years after a divorce to remarry (if they remarry at all).<br />
<br />
The average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old.<br />
About 1 percent of the total number of currently married same-sex couples gets divorced each year, in comparison to about 2 percent of married straight couples. (Note that the percent of couples that get divorced eventually is 50 percent, but only one or two percent get divorced in a particular year.)<br />
<a href="http://www.mckinleyirvin.com/blog/divorce/32-shocking-divorce-statistics/" target="_blank">Click here to read all of that particular report.</a><br />
<br />
<br />
It appears that there is still a need for sound advice for couples who are dating and those whose marriages have fallen into unsatisfying ruts of boredom, anger, and misery. <br />
<strong><u></u></strong><br />
<strong><u>For example: Humor is a skill worth developing.</u></strong> <br />
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<em>"A relationship without humor is like shaking hands with gloves on."</em></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Sherry Suib Cohen</span></div>
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Studies show that sense of humor ranks at the top of lists of desirable traits. Brides-to-be who were asked what they admired most in their man, most often mentioned as attractive: sense of humor (outranking romantic nature, intelligence, and good looks). It seems that women take the decision to marry seriously, but the courtship has also got to be lighthearted. Humor also topped the lists in reports by Newsweek and in Men's Health. But, it takes more than just telling jokes. <br />
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Here are some of my perennial suggestions for adding a touch of humor to romance.<br />
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* Waltz your partner around the room while you hum their favorite song.<br />
* Leave little surprise notes around the house for your partner, such as, in the freezer: "Honey, the meatloaf was great!" or, about 100 pages ahead of the bookmark in their bedside mystery or Fifty Shades book: "I don't know whodunit, but I'd like to do it with you."<br />
* Slip a new CD into their car stereo if they've been complaining about traffic jams on the way home.<br />
* Use a waterproof marker to draw a heart encircling your initials on the hand-sanitizer dispenser they take to the gym. <br />
* Put a candy bar in their briefcase if you know they love chocolate.<br />
* In the middle of the stack of papers they bring home from the office, slip a note that says "I love you!"<br />
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I enumerated even more of these hard-won insights in my book, <em><a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=20&pr_id=17&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">"Toilet Paper, Toothpaste, and Tuna-Noodle Casserole."</a></em> The title was inspired by three of things couple had knock-down-drag-out fights about in my office. You probably know what the toilet paper and the toothpaste conflicts are, but one couple in pre-marital counseling almost cancelled their wedding because, "<em>She doesn't make tuna-noodle casserole the way my mother did!</em>" (When the book was originally published, it included MY mother's recipe. Yum!)<br />
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<strong><u>Relationship Autopsy</u></strong><br />
Talk about <em>love is blind</em>! Even when a dating relationship is doomed to eventual disaster, most people do not pay attention to the warning signs. Caught up in the thrill of infatuation, social pressures, or emotional neediness, we ignore, dismiss, and rationalize the signals of eventual failure. Some of us only figure it out in the post-relationship examination. Realizing that the disaster could have been avoided if we had only listened to the signals --including our best friends' and families' exasperated pleadings-- is a valuable lesson for the future.<br />
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When the traditional marriage vows were written, life expectancy was only about 40 years, and the average marriage lasted only about 15 years. Now we have the potential for 80 years of marriage. The standard vows are too vague and too few to sustain that long of a relationship.<br />
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<strong><u>Examples of Predictors of a Dating Relationship: </u></strong>Is your prospect really available? Are they truly free of past relationships legally, mentally, and emotionally? If your prospect is legally divorced, are they emotionally divorced as well? Starting a new relationship before a previous one has ended usually creates painful complications.<br />
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Does your prospect have a good sense of humor? Do they laugh and smile easily and often? Do you bring out the laughter in each other? Can they ease tension by finding humor in sticky predicaments without trivializing them? Is their humor good-natured rather than mean-spirited or angrily sarcastic? “Yes” to these questions is a very good sign.<br />
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<strong><u>Terms & Conditions of the Love Contract</u></strong><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dqW7WJNYyTo/URa9jHKzf4I/AAAAAAAAAWk/XBtfw7Knybw/s1600/afraid-of-commitment.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dqW7WJNYyTo/URa9jHKzf4I/AAAAAAAAAWk/XBtfw7Knybw/s320/afraid-of-commitment.PNG" width="320" /></a></div>
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In the age of modern technology, when we are mindlessly clicking AGREE to <em>"I have read the terms of usage",</em> <strong><em>commitmentphobia</em></strong> can arise because, by comparison, the terms of the love contract seem extremely vague. With my car lease, I know what I'm getting into. But, love?<br />
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The 14 tips for predicting the future of a dating relationship, and the 27 commitments, form the basis of the <em>contemporary love contract</em>. Individuals and couples who study and implement these can greatly increase the odds of their finding happiness together for the long term.<br />
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Here are a few of the specific terms of the love contract for couples to negotiate and agree to.<br />
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<u>I realize</u> that fairy-tale romance doesn't really exist and that "happily ever after" demands a lot of work and that "getting married" is a life-long process; I will be patient..<br />
<u>I promise</u> I will confront problems as they come up, not wait and hope they will go away.<br />
<u>I promise</u> that I will never be too busy to sit and watch the sunset with you.<br />
<u>I will </u>develop my sense of humor and invite you to laugh with me.<br />
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<strong><em>For the sake of lovers everywhere, what advice would YOU give?</em></strong><br />
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-13223807639280281382013-01-26T12:20:00.001-08:002013-01-26T12:20:27.318-08:00Ten Things You May Be Doing Wrong When Creating Content - Part 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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</span><span style="font-size: x-small;">"Ten Things You May Be Doing Wrong When Creating Content & Presenting Programs" is a series of brief blogs you can use to make yourself more valuable and more memorable to your clients, and to differentiate yourself in the marketplace. These are in no particular order; they all are important.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><strong>#2 Not Being in "Continuous Content Collecting Mode"</strong></span><br />
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Your programs will become stale unless you create new content from time to time. Depending on your situation, you will want to refresh and update your content more frequently.</div>
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You should be looking for possible content <em>everywhere and all the time</em>. When the time comes, you will have created a rich resource for relaxed researching in plenty of time. You'll have lots to choose from to find exactly the right content.</div>
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It will be even more helpful if you <strong><em>organize it</em></strong> for future reference. Use 3-ring binders, standard manila file folders, or make digital folders on your hard drive. Arrange them alphabetically or by topic, or by topic alphabetically. </div>
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If you file future content possibilities digitally, be sure to name each file with something you are likely to remember, or at least might find easily using you computer's internal hard-drive search engine. You might think now that you'll never forget it, but... I'm just saying.</div>
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When you come across a quotation, an article, a research report --<strong><em>anything</em></strong> that might have potential to relate to your topic and make it more memorable or easier to understand or interesting, <strong><em>snag it and organize it!</em></strong></div>
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<strong>Trolling and Snagging For Fun & Profit</strong></div>
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Having the right material to present at the right time becomes part of your brand. It makes your programs more valuable and more popular.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em>"We still need Guam!"</em></td></tr>
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Our 5 year-old grandson, Isaac, has started to collect the US quarters that commemorate states and territories. We are all doing our bit --er, actually make that 2-bits-- to help him by checking our spare change for a coin he might need. He is lucky to have grandparents so dedicated that they pore over coins every time they receive change in a transaction. And, they go the extra step of specifically asking for change in coins! </div>
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We get the coins. We check them against the collection list. We <strong><em>snag</em></strong> the ones that match. Soon we will be on to pennies, nickles, and who-knows-what. </div>
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<u><strong>You should do the same thing to capture and collect content for all of your talks, keynotes, classes, PowerPoint, blogs, whatever.</strong></u></div>
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Read newspaper and magazines with your eyes and a pair of scissors. Clip, tear out the part you 'might need someday.' ASAP, get it organized into a topical file. </div>
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You can scan almost anything from any printed document with your combo-printer, and even carry a portable scanner in an App like "Genius Scan+" right on your smart phone.</div>
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Realplayer and other programs now make easy for you to download video from almost anywhere on the Internet. </div>
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Have you seen a related motivation or informational poster, cartoon, or video on Facebook? Snag it! Then use other software to trim, edit, or otherwise enhance the video or image, and even convert to a variety of viewable formats such as mp4, wma, wmv, mov. And, you can even extract just the audio for an mp3 file.</div>
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You should be trolling for material all the time. To paraphrase an old Tom Lehrer song satire, don't shade your eyes, let no one else's work evade your eyes, but do not plagiarize. Always give proper credit and attribution. And snag, snag, snag.</div>
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See an interesting sign in a store? Or anything happening anywhere? Use the camera in your smart phone to snag it! Send it to yourself via e-mail for future editing and incorporation into a program. </div>
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Hear a clever phrase while at dinner in a restaurant? Write it down on a napkin; file it later. Or, use your smart phone to record it as a message to send to yourself. Try audio messaging Apps like Tango and Heytell, too.</div>
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If you usually wait until you get a booking or, worse, until the last minute, to look for material, you might still be able to do some quick trolling & snagging content using any of the great search engines, if you know how to do it. That reminds me of my grandmother's advice about being prepared, <em>"If I had some peanut butter I would have a peanut butter sandwich, if I had some bread."</em></div>
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Keep your programs refreshed and powerful with material you find everywhere!</div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-28980682962891527592013-01-19T08:43:00.001-08:002013-01-19T08:46:19.552-08:00Ten Things You May Be Doing Wrong When Creating Content - Part 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>"Ten Things You May Be Doing Wrong When Creating Content & Presenting Programs" is a series of brief blogs you can use to make yourself more valuable and more memorable to your clients, and to differentiate yourself in the marketplace. These are in no particular order; they all are important.</i><br />
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<span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><b>#1 Not using your own talents</b></span><b><i><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span>America's got talent, how about you?</i></b></div>
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Can you recite a poem, sing, play a musical instrument, tap dance, or juggle? <br />
Have you memorized poetry or prose that is inspiring or informative?<br />
Could you compose & perform a song parody, or invite the audience to join you in singing it?<br />
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Using the natural talents that you have developed to performance level, will make your programs more valuable and more memorable to your clients, and will differentiate you in the marketplace of presenters.<br />
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A minister revealed to me that in seminary school he was taught this simple formula for creating a sermon: Three Points and a Poem.<i> </i>I suggest a slight revision: <i>Three Points and Your Talent.</i><br />
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You don't have to be a professional at your talent. Amateur is fine. You may want to get some coaching to craft something for inclusion in your program.<br />
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Enumerate your talents. Don't be bashful. Figure out which one(s) you can use to get your point(s) across. Don't make it "The All About Me Show", but use just enough talent-based content to amp up the value of your program a few notches.<br />
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Don't brag, just launch right into it. Don't brag about your talents because those are gifts of creation. They came with the territory. You didn't do anything to merit them. What you can take credit for is what you do by way of developing those talents. And, even more, how you use those talents to help other people face life's challenges, achieve their aspirations, or just enjoy life.<br />
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You may have had formal training in some talent, but mine were developed mostly as hobbies, but I stuck with them and fine-tuned them. When I became a professional speaker, I realized I could use them for more than entertaining at family reunions. I could help people remember and be inspired to try making some lifestyle or work style changes. It helps that my audiences are more likely to stay awake and pay attention.<br />
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For example, my promotional material says,<i><b> "To inform and enlighten his audiences, Steve Wilson intertwines substance and humor in ways you would never imagine from dazzling mental magic to expert level yo-yo-ing, to performance pieces."</b></i> In this <a href="http://youtu.be/IkEMsDwkL6w" target="_blank">video clip</a> I prove the point with a theatrical piece from "The Court Jester" that makes a great set-up for substantive content about applied and therapeutic humor & laughter for a professional audience.<br />
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Don't entertain just for the sake of entertaining. Balancing a folding chair on your chin might be impressive at a birthday party, but it is merely gratuitous unless you can clearly connect it to your content in the minds of your clients.<br />
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Your talents are your gifts. Use them in behalf of delivering programs with greater interest and benefits. It will pay off all the way around.<br />
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<i><b>Nine more mistakes will be explained in future blogs. Stay tuned. Subscribe to this blog and share this with everyone who might need to be aware.</b></i></div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-70090192450779086522012-12-15T10:05:00.000-08:002012-12-15T10:05:58.256-08:00A Response to Violence<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>Is It Really?</strong></em></td></tr>
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Today I am reading entries on Facebook from some laughter/humor colleagues asserting that yesterday’s shootings at an elementary school are proof that we need more laughter. Here’s one, "If we'd laugh more, there would be less violence, wars, fight... and we all laughed... really hard..." <br />
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Oh, my!<br />
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I am reminded of the man in an early documentary video about laughter in India. His cure for the troubles of the world, <em>“Laughter alone is the solution!”</em><br />
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<em>Oh, my!</em><br />
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A good argument could be made that laughter, humor, and mirth have survival value. But, “laughter alone” is hardly the solution. <br />
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What image do such assertions project about the mission, passion, and work of World Laughter Tour, its thousands of members, and others who form the loosely organized laughter movement? Over-simplified short-hand figures of speech can be easily misinterpreted, and portray the movement as seemingly not very thoughtful, perhaps even overly zealous for laughter.<br />
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I urge you, my readers and members of the World Laughter Tour, to project a more reflective and considered position. One that appreciates complexity, but is not deterred from ideals.<br />
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Situations and events have multiple causalities.<br />
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For instance, when we seek to foster a dozen new intergenerational laughter programs next year, or next February, when I present a program of classroom activities and support for caregivers in early childhood education, or when we promote <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/catalog.asp?cat_id=13" target="_blank">laughing toys</a> for kids, it is not because we believe that laughter is the only best medicine.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Tool, Not the Whole Toolbox</td></tr>
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Laughter is like an electric drill, a tool that delivers a desired result: a hole in the right place at the right time. It is not the whole toolbox. When the Beatles sang <em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTF_wJW7N4g" target="_blank">“All You Need Is Love,”</a></em> that was a figure of speech. We recognize that <strong><em>love is an action verb</em></strong>, not merely feel-good emotion. <br />
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What we call <em>laughter programs</em> encompass tools and experiences for more positive emotions and attitudes (emotional education); positive engagement with life and positive relationships, through Good-Hearted Living, for example. We synthesize evidence-based information from science, Positive Psychology, and ancient practices, in clinical, educational, consulting, corporate, and volunteer work. <br />
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We help individuals use life energies to choose and modify their life and work directions. We help individuals identify emotional and attitudinal factors, many of which can be self-administered practices that improve health and increase life satisfaction and well-being for clients, patients, residents, students, employee, and others. <br />
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And, yes, we have fun doing it.<br />
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What's so funny? Sometimes, we can't exactly explain why we are laughing. That's OK. But, my over-riding mission is to <em>give people good reasons to laugh</em> such as a good job, reasonable income, healthcare, adequate food, freedom from pain and fear and chaos. Now, that's a world you can live with. To get ideas for love-in-action, please re-read <em><a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/pdfs/fullbelly.pdf" target="_blank">"FULL-BELLY LAUGHTER"</a></em> and pass it on.<br />
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We can <strong><em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTF_wJW7N4g" target="_blank">imagine</a></em></strong> a better world. And, anything we can imagine we can make happen.<br /><br />
The advice that medical researcher <a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/sections/about/committee.asp" target="_blank">Dr. Lee Berk</a> so generously offered to me at the beginning of the World Laughter Tour, I now offer to you, <em>“Don’t ever get discouraged. You are doing the right thing.”</em><br />
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Steve</div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-32202403585622763062012-12-09T07:17:00.001-08:002012-12-09T07:17:49.083-08:00You may say that I’m a dreamer...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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You may say that I’m a dreamer<br />But I’m not the only one<br />I hope someday you’ll join us<br />And the world will be as one<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRhq-yO1KN8" target="_blank">"Imagine"</a> by John Lennon</em></span></div>
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I need your help. Thank you in advance, my dear blog readers.<br />
<br />
Actually, I am trying to enlist you in furthering the mission of the World Laughter Tour: <em>Together, we can lead the world to health, happiness, and peace through laughter</em>.<br />
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The operative word here is <strong><em>TOGETHER</em></strong>. I can't do it alone.<br />
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Did you know that the logo of World Laughter Tour is called <strong><em>The Happy World</em></strong>?</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uCojDDBdWmQ/UMSm2fZZmgI/AAAAAAAAAUA/yEK1dIbJFJE/s1600/earth-good+clean-c-crop.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="166" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uCojDDBdWmQ/UMSm2fZZmgI/AAAAAAAAAUA/yEK1dIbJFJE/s200/earth-good+clean-c-crop.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy World</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Thousands of individuals around the world are already carrying the mission forward. One of the ways we are doing this is by encouraging people everywhere to try my program called <strong><em>Good-Hearted Living</em></strong><span style="font-size: xx-small;">(tm)</span> [GHL].<br />
<br />
GHL is the most WONDERFUL, POWERFUL method I have ever discovered for improving life satisfaction and well-being. Put into daily practice, people find they have more positive attitudes, more positive emotions, and more positive interactions with others. In other word, greater life satisfaction and well-being. This, in turn, greatly increase the likelihood of having more laughter in their lives, which brings a multitude of benefits for mind, body, and soul.<br />
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And, you can be part of the movement, too. Especially if know someone who is fluent in a language other than English.<br />
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First, a word about <strong><em>THANK YOU</em></strong>. One of the six parts of the program is the practice of gratitude.<br />
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My friend, Nekane DeLeniz, whom I met in Caracas, is beautiful spiritual teacher, a woman both wise and smart, with a heart of gold. She posted this on Facebook:<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tEFi1phuMeI/UMShS098jzI/AAAAAAAAATU/kBTXhjv5gYk/s1600/thank-yous-nekane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="316" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tEFi1phuMeI/UMShS098jzI/AAAAAAAAATU/kBTXhjv5gYk/s320/thank-yous-nekane.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It inspired me to search for <em>THANK YOU</em> in other languages. With help from friends (and computer technology), I have been able to put together this list:<br />
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Bedankt (Dutch)<br />Ank-thay Ou-yay (Pig Latin)<br />Masha danki (Papiamento )<br />Todah rabbah (Hebrew)<br />grazie mille (Italian)<br />Sapcibo (Russian)<br />Dankon (Esperanto) <br />Diakuju (Ukrainian)<br />cume on (Vietnamese) <br />Arigato (Japanese)<br />Tak dig (Danish)<br />Kiitos (Finnish)<br />efharisto (Greek)<br />Takk deg (Norwegian)<br />Obrigado (Brazilian Portuguese)<br />Mahusu mahuyu (Guajiro)<br />Size Teşekkür Ederiz (Turkish)<br />Na gode (Hausa)<br />شكرا لك Shukran (shoe-cron) (Arabic)<br />感谢您 (Xie Xie: Chinese)<br />Σας ευχαριστώ (Greek)<br />आपको धन्यवाद देता हूं। (Hindi)<br />감사합니다. (Korean)<br />ขอขอบคุณที่คุณ (Thai)</div>
<strong><em></em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Here's where you come in.</em></strong> <u>You can help raise the GRATITUDE consciousness of people around the world by adding to the <em>THANK YOU</em> list (send me you additions, please) and distributing it <em>everywhere</em></u>.<br />
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<em><strong>Here's something else we can all do.</strong></em> Through the kindness of friends, the basic instructions for the GHL program have been translated into English, Mexican Spanish, Chilean Spanish, Dutch, French, German, Hungarian, Italian, and Japanese. Nancy Jones even created a kid version. I have put them all into <a href="http://worldlaughtertour.com/ghl/ghl-many-languages.pdf" target="_blank">a single pdf file</a> that you can have and <u>you can distribute</u>.<br />
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Copyright Disclaimer: Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.<br />
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<u>If you can help us get this translated into even more languages, we can touch even more lives and further the mission</u> of a healthier, happier, and more peaceful --and laughter-filled-- world. Do you know someone who would translate this? Simply send them the file and have them send me their translation. They may contact me with any questions. I will keep posting the additional translations for you to distribute. Soon, the world will look like this:<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZquVwISWJZI/UMSljXPo04I/AAAAAAAAATo/oPeczlpe4OM/s1600/heart-globe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZquVwISWJZI/UMSljXPo04I/AAAAAAAAATo/oPeczlpe4OM/s1600/heart-globe.jpg" /></a></div>
I'm just saying...imagine...<br />
<br />
Steve<br />
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PS I recently recorded a one-hour Webinar about GHL. <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=54&pr_id=235&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">You can get it</a>, along with myriad extras such as videos, the slide images, and articles.<br />
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-31704723930909637162012-11-27T09:50:00.001-08:002012-11-27T09:50:40.561-08:00Funny Fridays! Let's Make It Official<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">'Tis the season to
lighten up and give gifts, so let's be sure to include gifts of laughter and humor. Annually, let's Make the First Friday in April (<a href="http://www.humormonth.com/" target="_blank">National Humor Month</a>) and the last Friday in
November, officially <strong><em>Funny Fridays! </em></strong></span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fz3YiqMJvh8/ULT5eeOjgNI/AAAAAAAAASI/VyLn3mbzMNY/s1600/calendar-friday-smile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="159" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fz3YiqMJvh8/ULT5eeOjgNI/AAAAAAAAASI/VyLn3mbzMNY/s200/calendar-friday-smile.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<strong><em><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have submitted those days to <a href="http://www.mhprofessional.com/templates/chases/index.php" target="_blank">Chase's</a> Calendar of Events</span></em></strong></div>
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Laughter lifts spirits,
reduces stress, connects us to others, makes happy memories, and has healing
effects. We need laughter now more than ever, so let's devote at least a couple of day to creating, buying, giving, exchanging, or otherwise sharing gifts of
laughter to tickle the funny bones of friends and family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The master of movie comedy, Charlie Chaplin, said, "A day without laughter is like a day without sunshine." I say, let's bring rays of sunshine to this too-often commercialized, tension-filled season by making the last Friday in November 'Funny Friday' (and to National Humor Month, and while you're at it, any other Friday during the year).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Laughter is a kind of medicine for the good it can do. And, the sound of mirthful laughter
is contagious. What we have here is something the
world needs now more than ever--something positive that we can catch from each
other!</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K43WtCM5KHY/ULT6Kg2uncI/AAAAAAAAASQ/su6pKnj00bk/s1600/best-medicine-rx-colr-copyright.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K43WtCM5KHY/ULT6Kg2uncI/AAAAAAAAASQ/su6pKnj00bk/s200/best-medicine-rx-colr-copyright.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Many people who used to think that laughter was silly
or that jokes were immature, have made the surprising discovery that laughter
has its own natural, healthful <a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/pdfs/proven-health-benefits-of-laughter.pdf" target="_blank">benefits</a>. Every system of
the body functions better when you laugh. Laughter has survival value.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have built an <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/category.asp" target="_blank">online catalog</a> of things that laugh or that
induce mirthful laughter. People love to hear the sound of laughing. In
the Old Testament, Sarah laughed with joy and named her baby Isaac, the Hebrew word
for laughter. The earliest <a href="http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/oldlaf/okehlaughingrecord.mp3" target="_blank">recordings</a> are of the human voice laughing. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our 'child' lies dormant within each of us and our normal,
intended state is to be healthy, magical, and childlike. I recall being a kid whose family spent summers in Atlantic City. One time, I redeemed my winning Skee-Ball tickets at the Penny Arcade for a battery operated mechanical laugh box that came in an orange drawstring bag. All summer, we kids on the beach in my neighborhood never tired of playing with it and falling down again and again in peals of laughter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Out of that experience, I began to collect other mechanical laughing devices along with audio and video recordings of laughter. There's actually a DVD of 15 minutes of nothing but laughter, called <em><a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=15&pr_id=27&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">The Gift of Laughter</a></em>. </span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K782one364o/ULT6m25TWfI/AAAAAAAAASg/vMv_Zj21qx4/s1600/Laffylaffalot-web-image-x400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K782one364o/ULT6m25TWfI/AAAAAAAAASg/vMv_Zj21qx4/s200/Laffylaffalot-web-image-x400.jpg" width="152" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now, we have electronic toys like the ingenious <a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=53&pr_id=229&mo=&ft=" target="_blank">Laffy Laffalot</a>, gadgets like realistic laughing key chains, family laughing games, and even children's books that laugh. The World Laughter Tour online catalog also lists various 'amusements' like a whirring, light-flashing wizard's wand, Happy Pills, laughing key rings, and books of jokes & funny stories for all ages from 3 months to 103. George Bernard Shaw observed that, "People don’t stop playing because they grow old, they grow old because they stop playing."</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=13&pr_id=79&mo=&ft=" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-_o483kiQNdE/ULT7T4DWQlI/AAAAAAAAAS4/6TkcBB-94sU/s200/dont-make-me-laugh_gamebox-only.jpg" width="191" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Family Laughing Game</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tLTyorBj9E0/ULT6467rkbI/AAAAAAAAASw/k9mKnMiJHFQ/s200/happy-pills-small-4-colors.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="193" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Laughing Happy Pills</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://commerce1.cera.net/wltour/sections/catalog/prod_detail.asp?cat_id=19&pr_id=232&mo=&ft=" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X4F_I-hGYCQ/ULT6sN1EG_I/AAAAAAAAASo/DlT83Irq6Kk/s200/laugh-your-lips-off-cover-x400.jpg" width="130" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Terrific Joke Book</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It has been said that the halls of heaven ring with the laughter of the saints. As you make your gift lists for this season and all through the year, be sure to include laughter and humor. They are appropriate and welcomed gifts for almost any occasion. </span></div>
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<strong>Three Suggestions: </strong><br />1. As you make your gift list, think about what you know about each person's sense of humor and match it up with something suitable. Don't send off-color jokes to someone who is more reserved.<br />2. You don't have to spend a lot of money. A humorous greeting card will do just fine, and you can make your own.<br />3. Search online for jokes, riddles, or witticisms on topics that you know each person would appreciate (sports, a hobby, kids, business, etc.) and print out a compilation to add to a card or gift.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Your gift of laughter will be memorable for all the right reasons. Gifts of laughter are permission to lighten up, let go and have fun, and they make lasting connections. As Victor Borge said, laughter is the shortest distance between two people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Award-winning psychologist, Steve Wilson, also known as The
Joyologist and The Cheerman of the Bored, has spent 30 years specializing in
applied and therapeutic humor with a humanitarian mission. As Director of
National Humor Month, he intertwines science and ancient wisdom with substance and
humor to lead the world to health, happiness and peace through laughter. More
than six thousand people have completed his unique training in how to create
therapeutic laughter, and tens of thousands more around the world have been
uplifted by his talks, classes, books, and articles. He established the World
Laughter Tour, Inc., in 1998, to be a rich resource and inspiration for
improving productivity, health, and well being in business, healthcare and
education. </span></span></div>
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Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-42983174574942699082012-11-02T08:51:00.000-07:002012-11-02T08:51:22.973-07:00Post-disaster humor, laughter, resilience, and action<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xt_G577bAd0/UJPn8WYmnXI/AAAAAAAAAR0/nWw3XxUSetU/s1600/sense-of-humor-lifesaver.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xt_G577bAd0/UJPn8WYmnXI/AAAAAAAAAR0/nWw3XxUSetU/s200/sense-of-humor-lifesaver.jpg" width="197" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Humor and laughter can offer post-disaster healing, but timing and receptivity are critical considerations. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Now, more than ever.” We
have said these words about therapeutic humor and laughter many times during the past dozen years. Perhaps, some would say, too many times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Some of our laughter & humor colleagues have been hard hit by Sandy; many were spared. Weather experts tell us
to expect and prepare for more frequent and damaging weather events.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>"People throughout history have used humor, stories, music, dancing to cope with human tragedy," said </em><a href="http://www.disasternews.net/news/article.php?articleid=2477" target="_blank">Melina McLain</a>, a <em>San Francisco-based </em>disaster response coordinator for the United Church of Christ<em>. "Tapping into our own creativity makes us feel less powerless. The psychologist Carl Jung said, art is the cure for suffering."</em></span><br />
<em></em><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Photojournalist Richard Misrach's <a href="http://fstoppers.com/capturing-the-sorrow-and-humor-in-a-natural-disaster" target="_blank">video documentary</a> gives an interesting perspective into the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. It’s pretty amazing to see both the reoccurring responses from those affected within the community as well as humorous responses after such a life changing event.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Yet sometimes, trauma is so overwhelming
that our hearts go numb. When that happens, what should we do with our laughter,
with our empathy, with our compassion?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">One thing for sure, it will
be good for us to stick together. And, to act.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">WizeOne sez: <em>The snowflake is God’s most
fragile creation, but look what they can do when they stick together.<o:p></o:p></em></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">WHAT
TO THINK?<br />
</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br />
We might seek a sense of balance in the
stark-but-astute observation of George Bernhard Shaw,<em> “Life does not cease to be funny
when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."</em> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Some might ask, <em>“How can you
laugh at a time like this?”</em> Some spiritual teachers might reply with a question,<em>
“How can you not laugh at a time like this?”<o:p></o:p></em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Or, we remember Ecclesiastes,
<em>“There is a time to laugh and a time to cry. A time for all things.”</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><em></em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Grief, a very unpleasant emotion, is the process necessary for healing from loss. Psychologist <a href="http://www.searchquotes.com/search/Annette_Goodheart/" target="_blank">Annette Goodheart</a> taught us why grieving can take a very long time: we cannot do it all at once; we do it in pieces; in many, many pieces. For a time, laughter may not be accessible. Eventually, laughter—the great emotional balancer—is possible again. "Just because you're miserable," she said, "doesn't mean you can't enjoy your life."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">We take hope from our colleagues who study the humor of disasters. (Google "humor and disaster" for a plethora of reports.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The father of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, and others report that following traumatic events, the large majority of people have resilience and bounce back; a small percentage actually are stronger at some time after the trauma; a small percentage have great difficulty coming back to normal functioning.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><em></em></span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nMezMlxVx_c/UJPUH260vDI/AAAAAAAAARI/Ov_zaIWb4p0/s1600/einstein-clown-nose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nMezMlxVx_c/UJPUH260vDI/AAAAAAAAARI/Ov_zaIWb4p0/s200/einstein-clown-nose.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><em><o:p></o:p></em></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Logic can help, but it is not enough. <br />Platitudes can help, but they
are not enough. <br />Science can help, but it is not enough. <br />Prayer can be comforting, but it is not enough. <br />What, then, is "enough"?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">WHAT
TO DO?<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Perhaps we need to take
action, remembering that no sincere act of compassion or charity is ever to
small. Maimonides taught that the highest degree of charity is what helps a
person be strong and capable enough that they no longer require charity. The
next highest degree is giving anonymously so that the donor and the recipient
are not known to anyone. But, you don’t have to stop there because there are at
least six more degrees of charity. And, it is worth repeating: no sincere act of
compassion or charity is ever too small.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Keeping these in mind might
help us have the energy and resilience to think about what we can do, and to do
it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There are non-religious <a href="http://odewire.com/58548/how-laughter-can-keep-you-on-your-spiritual-path.html" target="_blank">spiritual aspects</a> to our work. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">ACTION
PROJECTS<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Some human beings are too
hungry to be laughing,” is the subtitle of my call to action, <a href="http://www.laughterfoundation.org/pdfs/fullbelly.pdf" target="_blank">“FULL BELLY LAUGHTER”.</a>
We could add that some are too cold, scared, sad, angry, stunned, or grieving. Understandably,
these are natural human emotions that block access to laughter or make humor
seem inappropriate, untimely, and in bad taste.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Read or re-read the attached paper,
breathe deeply and stay open to your mind’s suggestions for the actions that are
right for you. Then, do them!</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Again: <em>the snowflake is God’s
most fragile creation, but look what they can do when they stick together.</em></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4EkO2s5G608/UJPUVL3YSpI/AAAAAAAAARQ/4siFNv30SZY/s1600/laughing-buddah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4EkO2s5G608/UJPUVL3YSpI/AAAAAAAAARQ/4siFNv30SZY/s200/laughing-buddah.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Love, light and laughter,<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Steve<br />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span><br />
</div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3286543641232555768.post-53656367985067382332012-10-26T06:46:00.000-07:002012-10-26T06:48:57.392-07:00We didn’t see it coming.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aLiPIE0SeDQ/UIqTMaox5vI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/T8FZwwXJIQY/s1600/laughing-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aLiPIE0SeDQ/UIqTMaox5vI/AAAAAAAAAQ0/T8FZwwXJIQY/s200/laughing-woman.jpg" width="161" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Pam and I
have a standing joke that one of us is sleeping with the boss. On Boss’s Day
recently, we argued about which one of us should send flowers.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">We never
intended it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">We didn’t plan
it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">It was never
a goal.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">There is no
precedent for it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">We didn’t
see it coming.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Yet, now we
find ourselves with a constituency of thousands of CLLs that is at least 85% female.*<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">It is high
in our consciousness.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d6jIL9nhwV4/UIqRSR1W4RI/AAAAAAAAAQk/aazRBQAaZ5M/s1600/ascent-of-man-to-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d6jIL9nhwV4/UIqRSR1W4RI/AAAAAAAAAQk/aazRBQAaZ5M/s320/ascent-of-man-to-woman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">In many
places, women are at a disadvantage, but in World Laughter Tour, women not only lead a
global movement for health, happiness, and peace, they also lead the businesses that fulfill the mission and generate incomes that help feed their families.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">When we aim
to help CLLs be competent and confident and successful in this funny business, it
is largely about women.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z9E9TnrG22c/UIqRWZWi70I/AAAAAAAAAQs/pLDYU2qnFEo/s1600/strong-woman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z9E9TnrG22c/UIqRWZWi70I/AAAAAAAAAQs/pLDYU2qnFEo/s200/strong-woman.jpg" width="188" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Because we
have launched our series of online classes for better business**, I thought you
might also appreciate this <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/WhiteGirlSalsa" target="_blank">video</a>.
Perhaps it will inspire you. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">As always,<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">Steve</span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">*I have a theory
about why that has happened, but I am saving it for another time. What do you
think?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">**Our
<a href="http://tinyurl.com/8vxfw4r" target="_blank">webinar class</a> covering brilliant business basics is available now.</span></div>
Steve Wilson, Psychologist and Cheerman of the Boredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14116126820442926387noreply@blogger.com0