Inner Peace, Humor, and Laughter

"It doesn't matter what amazing things you accomplish until you have inner peace and joy; once you have inner peace and joy, it doesn't matter what amazing things you accomplish!"
~Unknown

 

 

Joy-of-life and inner peace includes large doses of humor and mirthful laughter.

Striving can be stressful.

Negative emotions are anhedonic. Not only do turmoil, fear, panic, depression, anger, boredom, guilt, worry, self-pity, or distress of any kind, block pleasure, enjoyment, fun, and true mirthful laughter, they can interfere with healing, too.*

"The Symptoms of Inner Peace" is an inspiration that came to nurse and spiritual teacher, Saskia Davis. I was astonished and delighted to discover recently that she published it in March of 1984. There must have been quite a vortex of good energy that year because it's the same month and year I felt called to explore, learn, and teach about humor and laughter as therapeutic allies.

Soon after that calling, I found Davis' list. It became a useful set of guideposts for my spiritual and psychological growth through, as she puts it, "the discipline to live the choices listed there." Many of my psychotherapy patients found this list helpful as a way to estimate where they were on their personal path to well-being.

If you are on the path of having more humor, laughter and well-being in your life, you might like it, too.

[According to Saskia Davis' website, what is presented below is the original arrangement of the text.]

 

THE SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE

 

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many already have been exposed;  and it is possible that people, everywhere,  could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what, up to now,  has been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Signs & Symptoms of Inner Peace

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences

 

An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

 

A loss of interest in judging other people.

A loss of interest in judging self.

 

A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

 

A loss of interest in conflict.

 

A loss of  ability to worry.

Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

Contented feelings of connectedness with others  & nature.

 

Frequent attacks of smiling. 

 

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

 

An increased susceptibility to love extended by others and the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

WARNING

If you  have  some or all of the above symptoms, be advised that your condition of inner peace may be too far advanced to be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of  these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.     © 1984

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*A more complete discussion of this concept can be found in my webinar, "EMOTIONAL EDUCATION: FEELINGS - Understanding Emotions to Enhance Well-Being"

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Please share this blog with anyone who might want to know more about humor, laughter, and inner peace.

Personal Bill of Rights

Whether you are somewhere in the arc of recovery (because growing up, somewhere along the line, many of us received too much, too little, or the wrong kind of something, and we need to get that straightened out in order to be happily fully functional), or you feel that your life is pretty stable and happy, or you want to be even happier (flourish is the word Martin Seligman uses), the Personal Bill of Rights might be helpful.

From time to time, the topics here are not directly about humor or laughter because there is a "meta" purpose, a larger theme: illuminating the human condition. These are my attempts to think-write-discuss ideas that will help us to know who we are and understand how we can get through this existence in the best possible way. These ideas reflect on aspects of be-ing, with the aim of making our be-ing healthier and happier.

Who are we, the people?



For your consideration, here is something from my files that I have always felt was worthwhile. It's been in my files for 25 years, gathering dust. Now, out in the fresh air, in the light of day, it can have new life by sharing. 

 

Whether you agree or disagree, accept or re-write, or draw your own conclusions, I believe you can find some sense of support, encouragement, strength, and confidence in these personal policies and practices that will contribute to your happiness.

 

PERSONAL

Adapted from “Healing The Child Within” (1987) by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.

1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.
2. I have a right to discover and know my Child Within.
3. I have a right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or want.
4. I have a right to follow my own values and standards.
5. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.
6. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values.
7. I have a right to dignity and respect.
8. I have a right to make decisions .
9. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.
10.  I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
11.  I have the right to terminate conversations with people with whom I feel put down and humiliated.
12.  I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
13.  I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
14.  I have a right to expect honesty from others.
15.  I have a right to all of my feelings.
16.  I have a right to be angry at someone I love.
17.  I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.
18.  I have a right to feel scared and to say "I'm afraid".
19.  I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame.
20.  I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or any reason that I chose.
21.  I have a right to change my mind at any time.
22.  I have the right to be happy.
23.  I have a right to stability - i.e. "roots" and stable healthy relationships of my choice.
24.  I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.
25.  There is no need to smile when I cry.
26.  It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.
27.  I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.
28.  I have the right to change and grow.
29.  I have the right to be open to improve communication skills so that I may be understood.
30.  I have a right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
31.  I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment.
32.  I can be healthier than those around me.
33.  I can take care of myself, no matter what.
34.  I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.
35.  I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.
36.  I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself.
37.  I have the right to give and to receive unconditional love.

“Healing The Child Within” (1987) by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D., is available at many online booksellers. From an online description:

 

Have you ever heard of your inner child? Well, this is the classic book that started it all.

In 1987, Charlie Whitfield's breakthrough concept of the child within—that part of us which is truly alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled—launched the inner child movement. Healing the Child Within describes how the inner child is lost to trauma and loss, and how by recovering it, we can heal the fear, confusion and unhappiness of adult life.

[More than] eighteen years and more than a million copies sold later, Healing the Child Within is a perennial selling classic in the field of psychology. And it is even more timely today than it was in 1987. Recent brain research, particularly on the effects of trauma on the brain of developing children, has supported Whitfield's intuitive understanding as a psychiatrist.

 

Please share this blog with anyone you know who might want to see it.

Prayer for The Birthday of the World: Happy 5774 Years

During the time in my life when my flower-child hippie side was more conspicuous, there was lots of interest in vibrational energy. There was fascination with Far Eastern spiritual practices like Trancendental Meditation, and chemically-induced 'insights' to the interconnectedness of all and everything. We spoke of auras, mantras and chakras, and the importance of being here now. We referred to picking up on the vibrational energy of people and situations as “vibes”. The vibes could be good or bad, foreboding or comforting: Hey, man, I like the vibes in this coffee house.

There is now compelling contemporary evidence that vibrational energy is  real, detectable and influential. According to the Institute of Heartmath, “Every cell in your body is bathed in an environment of magnetic forces which are invisible to the human eye. Numerous rhythms within your body can synchronize with solar and geomagnetic activity.”

 

 
Tradition, Not Literalism
According to Jewish tradition, on the evening when Rosh Hashana begins the world has a birthday. By this measure, this year on September 4 on the secular calendar the world became 5774 years old.

In the Jewish religion, the ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the Days of Awe or the Days of Repentance. This important period, which always occurs in the autumn, is devoted to serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent before Yom Kippur. Among the customs of this time it is common to seek reconciliation with people you may have wronged during the course of the year. These are days that call for sincere personal reflection and affirming better intentions for the coming year. This holiday is both solemn and joyous since it is both the Day of Repentance or Day of Judgement and the birthday of the world.

What does that have to do with laughter therapy?
One of the basic principles of laughter therapy is that the method and programs are non-religious; participation is not restricted by religious belief. An important part of our therapeutic strategy is to be open to welcome everybody. Proselytizing is not permitted. Group prayer, in the traditional form of spiritual communion with a deity, is not part of the program.

Recent scientific evidence points to important distinctions in human well-being depending on whether your happiness is hedonic-based (feel-good pleasure), or eudaimonic-based (virtue or altruism). This research strongly suggests that our well-being depends more on meaning than happiness. Another study, using fMRI technology, revealed that brain activation patterns are specific to particular induced (genuine) emotions. Extrapolating from these findings, I infer that inclusion of activities such as Good-Hearted Living(tm) along with activities that induce true mirthful laughter makes for a program (laughter therapy) that is more likely to lead to well-being than one that has people doing only laughter exercises, or worse, faking laughing.

As we continue to illuminate the human condition, especially our understanding of the better nature of humankind, we have expanded laughter therapy from a simple set of so-called laughter exercises to activities that go beyond the act of mirthful laughter. We incorporate the promotion and cultivation of the attitudes, emotions, and conditions that incline people to laughter; affirmation, meditation, ‘holding a good thought or positive intention’, and contributing to community and society are encouraged.

Speaking most broadly, prayer does not have to involve a deity. When seeking solutions to human problems, one can concentrate on thanksgiving, earnest requests, petitions, or entreaties to oneself, one’s neighbors, government, or to the energy of cosmos.

“Days of Awe” - What’s that? And, what does that have to do with laughter therapy?

Awe is one of the most wonderfully healthy emotions. I would put it as one of the top 5 significant emotions a human being can experience (gratitude and hope are two of the others).

In contemporary vernacular slang, awesome is a simple shorthand way to refer to something that is very impressive: That new white convertible is totally awesome.

More traditionally (and therapeutically) it is an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like. Something that is ‘awesome’ has the power to inspire fear or reverence. Combining the two usages, it refers to something that is so wonderful and impressive, often something in nature, that it blows your mind: That sunset was awesome!

 

Laughter therapy is an eclectic method that has roots in Norman Cousins’ now well-verified belief that in addition to humor and laughter, all of the positive emotions are beneficial for human beings. “Careful readers of my book [Anatomy of an Illness], however, knew that laughter was just a metaphor for the entire range of the positive emotions. Hope, faith, love, will to live, cheerfulness, humor, creativity, playfulness, confidence, great expectations--all these, I believed had therapeutic value" (p. 50).

Norman Cousins

All of that said, here for your consideration is the Days-of-Awe prayer written by Rabbi Howard L. Apothaker, Temple Beth Shalom, New Albany, Ohio, for inclusion in their Yom Kippur 5774 religious services.

As you read these virtuous ideals, you may want to focus on them verbatim (as written) or consider trying this prayer as a series of affirmations, meditations, mantras, or visualizations of intention for a better world. You may want to substitute “We pray” with words that are more comfortable or meaningful to you, such as “I contribute to…” or “I focus on…” or "I visualize...". Experiment to find the words that suit you best.

An Acrostic "Days of Awe" Prayer
Written by Rabbi Howard L. Apothaker

During these Days of Awe, we pray for open minds and open hearts, encompassing the A-to-Z, from Awe to Zeal, for returning to our most humane conduct.

We pray for an end to animosity, and a return to affability.
We pray for an end to bigotry, and a return to blessing.
We pray for an end to cruelty, and a return to caring.
We pray for an end to deception, and a return to devotion.
We pray for an end to enmity, and a return to engagement.
We pray for an end to faultfinding, and a return to forgiveness.
We pray for an end to greed, and a return to generosity.
We pray for an end to hostility, and a return to heartfulness.
We pray for an end to injustice, and a return to integrity.
We pray for an end to jingoism, and a return to judiciousness.
We pray for an end to Klannishness, and a return to kindness.
We pray for an end to lewdness, and a return to love.
We pray for an end to maliciousness, and a return to mercy.
We pray for an end to nastiness, and a return to niceness.
We pray for an end to obstinacy, and a return to open-mindedness.
We pray for an end to prejudice, and a return to peacefulness.
We pray for an end of querulousness, and a return to quietude.
We pray for an end to ridicule, and a return to respect.
We pray for an end to selfishness, and a return to sacrifice.
We pray for an end to trash-talk, and a return to tact.
We pray for an end to violence, and a return to values.
We pray for an end to warfare, and a return to welcoming.
We pray for an end to xenophobia, and a return to examination of self.
We pray for an end to yelling insults, and to a return to yielding ground.
We pray for an end to zero-sum, and a return to zeal for cooperation.

May this "alphabet of prayers" reflect the breadth of our concern for our people, for all peoples, for every person; at this time, through all time, in our time; and for all humane convictions and creeds.

AMEN.

 

The thoughts you hold become your actions and your character and your destiny.These are some pretty good thoughts to hold onto. Concentrate on them and let them guide your actions. They resonate with virtuous ideals. The more you think and act on these, the more likely you are to enhance your well-being. And, with each step closer to these conditions, the more likely you are to experience good vibes, man, well-being, and true mirthful laughter.

Make Your Life More Playful

 

Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.
-Heraclitus

Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem; dulce est desipere in loco.
(Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: it's good to be silly at the right moment.) -Horace

 

Don't ever let your mind keep you from having a good time. -Jason Mraz

A sense of playfulness is the best defense against taking yourself too seriously.
-Peter Kai Chang

I think entrepreneurship is our natural state -a big adult word that boils down to something much more obvious like playfulness. -Richard Branson

 

Playfulness is more important than play. According to SteveGross, Executive Director – and Chief Playmaker – of The Life is good Playmakers, “We all know that it is critical for kids of all ages to play. And we know that play can take many forms. But there’s a deeper idea about the importance for kids to learn how to be playful – and how that spirit should permeate their development.”

The same goes for adults.

One of the surest techniques for being playful is to not keep score. As soon as you start keeping score or comparing one person’s performance to another, playfulness goes away and self-esteem is at stake. Stress and striving start, and unhappiness looms with the prospect of falling short, losing, or failing.

In 10 Ways to MakeYour Life More Playful, Melissa Kirk, says, “When we lose ourselves in play, whether creating a make-believe world, throwing a ball between friends, frolicking with our dog, or watching silly YouTube videos, we allow ourselves to get out of the linear, problem-solution, adult mindset. We’re activating a part of our brains that we don’t use much in the grown-up world: the one that doesn’t care about deadlines or mortgages or how much we weigh, the one that doesn’t care how we look to others.”

Bernie Dekoven, author of The Well Played Game, observes,  "Even though I rigorously claim that ‘the playful path is the shortest road to happiness,’ it often happens that we don’t choose to be playful. We could, but we don’t. Maybe we’re not happy enough. Maybe some perverse part of ourselves is having more fun being miserable. But even the best of us, even the most professionally playful of us, forget to be playful. And even though we have the choice and we know we have the choice, we simply can’t get ourselves to play. We can’t act playfully, or feel playful or be playful.

"Sure, we can play the same kinds of games we played when we were children, but experiencing those same games, as adults, weaving them into the context of what we have since learned and experienced and dreamed, the games become something else, we become something more. We care for each other differently. We appreciate each other differently. We play with each other differently.

"For many reasons, it can take us years, decades before we can allow ourselves embrace fun and silliness the way we once did when we were children. And when we finally make it back, we discover that we are different, and it is different; and yet it welcomes us, embraces us as powerfully, as naturally, as meaningfully as it did when we last understood its place in our lives – more meaningfully, because we are adults, and we must, not because, but in spite of it all, choose to have fun, to be silly."

Techniques to Facilitate Play Behavior

1.    List three times or periods in your life during each week when you are free from responsibility.

2.    Go back to your own childhood and think about the kind of play you enjoyed at that time.

3.    Pay attention to your dreams and daydreams about play. For one month keep a journal record of your dreams. Pay attention to the ones that are particularly free, spontaneous, and joyful.

4.    Plan to spend at least two hours each week watching children play. Do this for one month. Do you find yourself smiling inside as you watch them? What kinds of activities are they experiencing?

 

5.    Plan to play with children during the week. If you have your own children, make a special effort to play with them ''just for the fun of it.” Did you laugh out loud during your play with them?

6.    List three friends who are most playful and fun to be with. Think about how you could plan to spend more time with these people.  

7.    Think about the kind of environment or setting that you need for play. Do you need to be outside your home? Do you need to be wearing special "play" clothes? Is there a special room in your home where you feel most free and spontaneous?

8.    Lock the bathroom door and look at yourself in the mirror. Try to think serious and then humorous thoughts. Smile at yourself in the mirror for two minutes.

9.    Practice laughing with a friend. If necessary, have that friend tickle you. Tell each other jokes. go to a silly movie, Make a tape of yourself laughing and plan to play it back in privacy when you are feeling most depressed.