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Friday, November 1, 2013

Inner Peace, Humor, and Laughter

"It doesn't matter what amazing things you accomplish until you have inner peace and joy; once you have inner peace and joy, it doesn't matter what amazing things you accomplish!"
~Unknown
 
 
Joy-of-life and inner peace includes large doses of humor and mirthful laughter.

Striving can be stressful.
Negative emotions are anhedonic. Not only do turmoil, fear, panic, depression, anger, boredom, guilt, worry, self-pity, or distress of any kind, block pleasure, enjoyment, fun, and true mirthful laughter, they can interfere with healing, too.*

"The Symptoms of Inner Peace" is an inspiration that came to nurse and spiritual teacher, Saskia Davis. I was astonished and delighted to discover recently that she published it in March of 1984. There must have been quite a vortex of good energy that year because it's the same month and year I felt called to explore, learn, and teach about humor and laughter as therapeutic allies.

Soon after that calling, I found Davis' list. It became a useful set of guideposts for my spiritual and psychological growth through, as she puts it, "the discipline to live the choices listed there." Many of my psychotherapy patients found this list helpful as a way to estimate where they were on their personal path to well-being.

If you are on the path of having more humor, laughter and well-being in your life, you might like it, too.


[According to Saskia Davis' website, what is presented below is the original arrangement of the text.]
 
THE SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE
 
Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many already have been exposed;  and it is possible that people, everywhere,  could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what, up to now,  has been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Signs & Symptoms of Inner Peace
A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences
 
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
 
A loss of interest in judging other people.

A loss of interest in judging self.
 
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
 
A loss of interest in conflict.
 
A loss of  ability to worry.

Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

Contented feelings of connectedness with others  & nature.
 
Frequent attacks of smiling. 
 
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
 
An increased susceptibility to love extended by others and the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

WARNING
If you  have  some or all of the above symptoms, be advised that your condition of inner peace may be too far advanced to be curable. If you are exposed to anyone exhibiting any of  these symptoms, remain exposed only at your own risk.     © 1984
###





*A more complete discussion of this concept can be found in my webinar, "EMOTIONAL EDUCATION: FEELINGS - Understanding Emotions to Enhance Well-Being"

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Please share this blog with anyone who might want to know more about humor, laughter, and inner peace.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Personal Bill of Rights

Whether you are somewhere in the arc of recovery (because growing up, somewhere along the line, many of us received too much, too little, or the wrong kind of something, and we need to get that straightened out in order to be happily fully functional), or you feel that your life is pretty stable and happy, or you want to be even happier (flourish is the word Martin Seligman uses), the Personal Bill of Rights might be helpful.

From time to time, the topics here are not directly about humor or laughter because there is a "meta" purpose, a larger theme: illuminating the human condition. These are my attempts to think-write-discuss ideas that will help us to know who we are and understand how we can get through this existence in the best possible way. These ideas reflect on aspects of be-ing, with the aim of making our be-ing healthier and happier.
Who are we, the people?

For your consideration, here is something from my files that I have always felt was worthwhile. It's been in my files for 25 years, gathering dust. Now, out in the fresh air, in the light of day, it can have new life by sharing. 
 
Whether you agree or disagree, accept or re-write, or draw your own conclusions, I believe you can find some sense of support, encouragement, strength, and confidence in these personal policies and practices that will contribute to your happiness.
 
PERSONAL
Adapted from “Healing The Child Within” (1987) by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.

1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.
2. I have a right to discover and know my Child Within.
3. I have a right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or want.
4. I have a right to follow my own values and standards.
5. I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.
6. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values.
7. I have a right to dignity and respect.
8. I have a right to make decisions .
9. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.
10.  I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
11.  I have the right to terminate conversations with people with whom I feel put down and humiliated.
12.  I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.
13.  I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.
14.  I have a right to expect honesty from others.
15.  I have a right to all of my feelings.
16.  I have a right to be angry at someone I love.
17.  I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.
18.  I have a right to feel scared and to say "I'm afraid".
19.  I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame.
20.  I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgment or any reason that I chose.
21.  I have a right to change my mind at any time.
22.  I have the right to be happy.
23.  I have a right to stability - i.e. "roots" and stable healthy relationships of my choice.
24.  I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.
25.  There is no need to smile when I cry.
26.  It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.
27.  I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.
28.  I have the right to change and grow.
29.  I have the right to be open to improve communication skills so that I may be understood.
30.  I have a right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
31.  I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment.
32.  I can be healthier than those around me.
33.  I can take care of myself, no matter what.
34.  I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.
35.  I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.
36.  I have the right to forgive others and to forgive myself.
37.  I have the right to give and to receive unconditional love.

“Healing The Child Within” (1987) by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D., is available at many online booksellers. From an online description:
 
Have you ever heard of your inner child? Well, this is the classic book that started it all.

In 1987, Charlie Whitfield's breakthrough concept of the child within—that part of us which is truly alive, energetic, creative and fulfilled—launched the inner child movement. Healing the Child Within describes how the inner child is lost to trauma and loss, and how by recovering it, we can heal the fear, confusion and unhappiness of adult life.

[More than] eighteen years and more than a million copies sold later, Healing the Child Within is a perennial selling classic in the field of psychology. And it is even more timely today than it was in 1987. Recent brain research, particularly on the effects of trauma on the brain of developing children, has supported Whitfield's intuitive understanding as a psychiatrist.
 
Please share this blog with anyone you know who might want to see it.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

The Courage And Confidence To Be Humorous

Your confidence will come into focus.

Would you like to have the courage to be humorous? Would you like to be less self-conscious about laughing out loud? Do you know how to tell a joke well? Would you like to be more spontaneous with your sense of humor? Would you like to be funnier?

Would you like to have all this in 3 easy lessons? Forgeddaboutit! You can have all this. It will take effort and time, but it's not all that complicated.

It seems to me that many, maybe even most, people are inhibited about these things. For some it is because they have been criticized or judged harshly for the sound of the laughter. The criticisms abound: "You laugh too loud... You giggle too much... You cackle... You snort... Nobody likes that kind of laughter." Et cetera ad nauseum!

Others lack good role models for joke-or-story-telling. Many compare themselves to the great masters of comedy (Carlin, Williams, Carson, Leno, Winters, Ball, Diller, Seinfeld, etc.) and come up short, feeling like failures by comparison.

The first rule of self-esteem: Quit Comparing Yourself to Others. Set reasonable standards for yourself and compare your progress to your own goals.

Remember that courage is not the absence of fear. It is the ability to act in spite of fear or apprehension.

Remember that confidence comes from competence.

To start you on the road to being more funny more spontaneously, here are some great general pointers for developing self-confidence, and specific tips related to being more "in humor".


DEVELOPING SELF-CONFIDENCE IN LIFE AND IN HUMOR

The way you perceive yourself influences both your confidence and your performance. When you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF as a valuable person who is on top of your job, motivation increases and the possibility of peak productivity grows. When you believe in your sense of humor and your ability to bring a smile or chuckle to others, you will be funnier, and be valued by others as someone who helps others to lighten up.

Get in the habit of giving yourself a daily ESTEEM BATH by:

1. Positive self-talk. When you look in the mirror each morning, and as you walk through the office door, say to yourself, "I am somebody special! I make a vital contribution to this organization!" “There are many ways and many opportunities for me to share my sense of humor.” List positive statements about yourself on a card. Record your short and long-term goals and objectives. Work with affirmations. Here is a recorded class on the fascinating ancient spiritual wisdom and modern neurological science of affirmations.

2. The Risk/Reward proposition: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. In general, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. For starters, calculate smaller risks. Larger risks can come later. You need to get outside -but not too far outside- of your typical comfort zone. At first, set goals to take small risks every day or every week. Do something you have never done before or said you would never try again. Initiate a conversation with a stranger, eat dinner alone or do some public speaking. Tell a joke or otherwise share some humor with someone you know is friendly. Smile!

Start small. Share your humor with one other person.
3. Confidence comes from competence. Competence comes from study and practice. You learn to be funnier the same way you learn to ride a bicycle: by the 'wobble method'. Keep a journal of successes and risks which brought rewards. Dig into your past and add to your journal any successes from the past you can recall. Learn from your mistakes and build on your history of coping with obstacles, solving problems, and finding work-arounds. Get feedback from someone you trust; someone who really understands humor.

4. Conquer unrealistic fears by learning the art of relaxation and deep breathing. When confronted with a anxious situations, take slow deep breaths. Do not hold your breath; that will only increase tension. You cannot feel fear and tranquility at the same time.

5. You don’t even have to say a word. Try this in private: Inhale-Smile-Exhale. Repeat several times. Try it while looking at yourself in a mirror. Inhale-Smile-Exhale-With-An-Unforced-Chuckle. Repeat several times. Try it with another person, maybe on an elevator. Make eye-contact but don’t stare! Try to look friendly.

6. Become aware of your appraisals. In any situation you usually make two appraisals. You estimate what’s at stake and you estimate your resources for dealing with the situation. Accurate estimates are important to give you confidence. Do not overestimate what’s at stake, e.g., is this really an emergency? Do not underestimate your resources, e.g., what skills and talents do you bring to the situation? What resources can you tap? Have you been reading up or taking a class on joke-telling? Have you been practicing? If so, you are entitled to feel more confident.

7. At work, develop enthusiasm for your job. The most promotable people find something exciting about their work. Try to discover how your work really fits into the organization and what it really means to the end-user/customer, e.g., welding parts for surgical tables may seem like routine assembly-line work until your realize how many lives are saved on them in hospitals each year. If you fail in this endeavor - if you can't find one thing rewarding about the job re-evaluate your career goals.

8. Motion creates emotion. Smile. Walk with your head high and your shoulders square. Look people in the eye. Put a spring in your step. Shake hands and introduce yourself. Find your inner warmth and sense of humor and convey them to others. Facial expression can affect emotions. Smile, and place your tongue at the point where your upper teeth meet the roof of your mouth. Hold that for 1-3 minutes. Why it works is too complicated to explain here. Just try it. (Want to learn dozens of quick ways to de-stress?) 

Smile. It increases your face value.
9. Always look your best. Your appearance influences the way you feel. Smile: It increases your face value!

10. Volunteer to help others. Get in the habit of giving just because it feels good. Get in the habit of sharing humor because that feels good, too. Forward funny e-mails. Tweet out a one-liner. Show others humorous greeting cards or cartoons you collected.

11. Read biographies of successful people. Read about the great comedians. Read & collect books of riddles, jokes,a and funny stories.

12. Locate and develop all of your senses of humor; you have several. Become a Humor Powered Person. Read my blog about finding your laughter. Attend self-development workshops. Stand-up comedy classes are not only for performers. They can make you funnier at parties, around the office, with friends, neighbors, and even strangers. Try Jeff Justice or Dave Schwensen. 

13. Talk to yourself as kindly as you would talk to your best friend. Would you call your best friend ugly, incompetent, fat, or stupid? Then don't label yourself that way either.

14. Hang out with positive and funny people. People who care about themselves will find it pleasurable to be good to you. Don't hang around negative people. Two great hangouts are the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor and the International Society for Humor Studies.


15. Get out of the ‘approval business’. Say good-bye to a "victim's" mentality. Quit focusing on how others have mistreated you. Stop value-judging, i.e., stop approving and disapproving of others. Stop looking to others for approval and you will soon find that other’s opinions of you have less power to bring you down. Do something nice for yourself instead.

Stop tuning in to WOPT (What Other People Think)
16. When faced with failure, say to yourself, "This situation didn't work out the way I would have liked." When you succeed, say to yourself, "I am pleased with these results. Good job!" Meet your own standards, don't compare yourself to others. When you tell a joke or otherwise share some humor (a bumper sticker, forwarded e-mail, a wind-up toy, a funny greeting card) that doesn’t get the laugh you hoped for, your humor may have been fine but just not to the other person’s tastes. It’s different jokes for different folks. Don’t insist that the person laugh. Try it with someone else.

17. Give yourself power by deciding what you can do in problem situations. Build strength through constructive action. Work toward accepting the things you cannot change. But, change the things you can. Read 19 ways to enhance your sense of humor. Take the one-hour recorded class “How to Be Funny(ier) And Tell A Joke”.

18. Nobody has permanently high self-esteem. Nobody is funny every time or all of the time. Self-esteem can fluctuate even during the course of a single day. Your goal should be to have it fluctuate overall at higher rather than lower levels. Everyone is vulnerable to having their self-esteem knocked down. The idea is to practice ways of thinking and doing so that you don’t have extreme swings in self-esteem or self-confidence, and so that when you feel down you don’t stay down for very long.

Whether you want to boost your confidence in general, or your funniness, on or off the job, or both, high levels of self-confidence -and funniness- are something you work at, and it pays off.

This 'word cloud' is relevant of the payoff even without a 'joke'.

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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Ten More Commandments

As holistically therapeutic allies, laughter and humor must encompass the role of attitudes and emotions in health and well-being.

That's why this advice has been on my mind and in my files for 40 years.

I am not the author. I have no idea where this originated. In fact, I tried a Google search to find out, only to  be amazed at how many 'ten more commandments' have been suggested since the original ten.

IMHO, these are definitely worth your consideration, perhaps as necessary ingredients, for cultivating the mindset and actions that strengthen and sustain the good that humor and laughter can do.

Anyway, as my Austrian grandmother would say, "It vouldn't hurt!"


1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.


2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

6. The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

9. People really need help, but may attack you if you do help them.
Help them anyway.

10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

 

Monday, September 23, 2013

Learning to Let Go and Laugh

If you were a relatively happy kid (I was), you probably enjoyed many deep belly laughs (I did). You can remember times when giggle-fits had you and a friend collapsing into puddle-like pools, limp from laughter exhaustion for reasons you can no longer remember. (I sure did.)

This hardly ever happens to grown ups, even though we know for sure that it is quite beneficial. Really. It's scientific. But, like exercise, everybody knows it's good for them, but few do it with any regularity. Adults rarely let themselves be so out of control as to give in to such hysterical guffaws and giggle-fits that they actually double over with laughter or fall out of their chairs, let alone happily collapse.


Deep belly laughter--in fact, even gentle giggling and chuckling-- can release a tsunami of hormones and neurotransmitters that bathe your brain and circulate throughout your body. These wonderful chemicals throw switches in every system of the body to turn on to healthy functioning.



That's how mirthful laughter reduces and reverses stress-related chemistry, helps muscles relax, opens arteries to make it easier for blood to flow to the heart, helps digestion, and helps your immune system to work more efficiently.


These effects begin as soon as you experience mirthfulness, whenever you truly feel tickled by something, or are genuinely amused. And, if you can manage to laugh for as little as a  minute (more is better), the effects can last for 24-48 hours, or until you get aggravated or stressed, whichever comes first.

But wait! There’s hope! Act Now!

If you have been to a modern laughter club or laughter circle, you have already learned this. But if there are none close by, these guidelines will be a big help.

The simplest way:
First you give yourself permission to let go and laugh like crazy.
Then take a nice deep breath, smile, let out the breath and let yourself chuckle.


If you need more step-by-step directions, try this:
1. Sit in a quiet room alone. Plan to stay there for about 10 minutes. Loosen your belt. take off your shoes.
2. Loosen any other tight clothing so that you will not feel restrained. Be sure to take off your tie.
3. Think of a funny joke or a ridiculous event in your life.
4. Take a nice deep breath, smile, let out the breath and let yourself chuckle.
5. Do it again.
6. Again.
7. Typically, by the third try you will be able to begin to laugh out loud.
8. Now, see if you can do it and laugh for at least 30 seconds.
9. If this is difficult for you, plan to do it with a friend. This approach is usually effective because both people give permission to each other to be silly.
10. If you are embarrassed when you first start, you may want to close your eyes. This will make everyone else disappear so that you can be more spontaneous.
11. For more assistance you may want to play a tape of people laughing or watch comedy movies for your planned laughter times. You may also find it easy to laugh if you look at yourself for a long time in a mirror.

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU FIND YOUR INNER LAUGHTER

“Laughing To The Future” - YouTube TEDx presentation
Hugh McClelland is a Television Producer and Project Manager who has been a Certified Laughter Leader and Laughter Yoga Instructor since 2004. He has organized laughter training sessions and led laughter sessions for government departments, corporate sales teams, hospital care staff, cancer survivors, personal development
groups, and palliative care staff.


"Finding Your Inner Laughter" - Audio CD
Certified Laughter Leader Carol Hubert uses her calming energy along with music, drumming, and guided imagery to lead the audience to laughter without jokes. This 90-minute audio recording of a live program guides you through all of the elements of a laughter session. You can experience the benefits of laughter exercises, relaxing, freeing up your mind, learning the six steps of Good-Hearted Living, and having fun. Listen and do the session along with the 600 people who were in the audience.

"How to Create Therapeutic Laughter" actually has wide-ranging applications for business, healthcare, and education. It encompasses all of the positive emotions for health, happiness, and productivity. It goes beyond the power of laughter to include a variety of Positive Activity Intervention activities, and the role of attitudes and emotions in health, healing and 'flourishing'. Anyone who might like more laughter in their live, or like to lead others in laughter therapy can do so by completing the course  either in a 2-day workshop or through convenient home study, or both. It's all included. 

Take advantage of the fact that laughter is contagious by laughing along with recorded laughter.

Laughter Unlimited By Janet Lifshin
This is the most popular laughter recording of the past 6 years. A great value. You get 30 continuous minutes of the most contagious, infectious laughter you will ever hear. Produced by Vanessa Vendola and Certified Laughter Leader Janet Lifshin, this audio CD is a laughter classic.
LAUGHTER MEDITATION By Pragito Dove
A practical tool for therapeutic laughter and personal growth. Pragito Dove makes this experience accessible, practical, and powerful. A transformative healing process that enhances love, gracefulness, flexibility, and enjoyment in your life. E experience your sense of playfulness and fun with the Laughter Meditation. Pragito guides the listener through a complete meditation that induces feelings of harmony and well-being. From the author of Lunchtime Enlightenment.

"Laughing Celebration" By Sarito Sun
With more than 20 years as a Meditation Expert and Hypnotherapist, Sarito Sun is dedicated to helping people individually and in groups. Sarito believes that laughter, joy, and meditation are three of the most powerful ways to shower the world with peace, health, and prosperity. Starting in the 1970's, Sarito has worked with people from all walks of life, including renowned authors and spiritual leaders. In her own personal search, she has explored modern methods as well as powerful ancient techniques for awareness and meditation. Sarito provides group sessions for businesses and organizations, including the Chopra Center in La Costa, CA. She also teaches at Churches in the San Diego-LA area. 


Please share this blog with anyone who might like to laugh more.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Prayer for The Birthday of the World: Happy 5774 Years

During the time in my life when my flower-child hippie side was more conspicuous, there was lots of interest in vibrational energy. There was fascination with Far Eastern spiritual practices like Trancendental Meditation, and chemically-induced 'insights' to the interconnectedness of all and everything. We spoke of auras, mantras and chakras, and the importance of being here now. We referred to picking up on the vibrational energy of people and situations as “vibes”. The vibes could be good or bad, foreboding or comforting: Hey, man, I like the vibes in this coffee house.

There is now compelling contemporary evidence that vibrational energy is  real, detectable and influential. According to the Institute of Heartmath, “Every cell in your body is bathed in an environment of magnetic forces which are invisible to the human eye. Numerous rhythms within your body can synchronize with solar and geomagnetic activity.”



 
 

Tradition, Not Literalism
According to Jewish tradition, on the evening when Rosh Hashana begins the world has a birthday. By this measure, this year on September 4 on the secular calendar the world became 5774 years old.

In the Jewish religion, the ten days starting with Rosh Hashanah and ending with Yom Kippur are commonly known as the Days of Awe or the Days of Repentance. This important period, which always occurs in the autumn, is devoted to serious introspection, a time to consider the sins of the previous year and repent before Yom Kippur. Among the customs of this time it is common to seek reconciliation with people you may have wronged during the course of the year. These are days that call for sincere personal reflection and affirming better intentions for the coming year. This holiday is both solemn and joyous since it is both the Day of Repentance or Day of Judgement and the birthday of the world.



What does that have to do with laughter therapy?
One of the basic principles of laughter therapy is that the method and programs are non-religious; participation is not restricted by religious belief. An important part of our therapeutic strategy is to be open to welcome everybody. Proselytizing is not permitted. Group prayer, in the traditional form of spiritual communion with a deity, is not part of the program.

Recent scientific evidence points to important distinctions in human well-being depending on whether your happiness is hedonic-based (feel-good pleasure), or eudaimonic-based (virtue or altruism). This research strongly suggests that our well-being depends more on meaning than happiness. Another study, using fMRI technology, revealed that brain activation patterns are specific to particular induced (genuine) emotions. Extrapolating from these findings, I infer that inclusion of activities such as Good-Hearted Living(tm) along with activities that induce true mirthful laughter makes for a program (laughter therapy) that is more likely to lead to well-being than one that has people doing only laughter exercises, or worse, faking laughing.

As we continue to illuminate the human condition, especially our understanding of the better nature of humankind, we have expanded laughter therapy from a simple set of so-called laughter exercises to activities that go beyond the act of mirthful laughter. We incorporate the promotion and cultivation of the attitudes, emotions, and conditions that incline people to laughter; affirmation, meditation, ‘holding a good thought or positive intention’, and contributing to community and society are encouraged.

Speaking most broadly, prayer does not have to involve a deity. When seeking solutions to human problems, one can concentrate on thanksgiving, earnest requests, petitions, or entreaties to oneself, one’s neighbors, government, or to the energy of cosmos.

“Days of Awe” - What’s that? And, what does that have to do with laughter therapy?



Awe is one of the most wonderfully healthy emotions. I would put it as one of the top 5 significant emotions a human being can experience (gratitude and hope are two of the others).
In contemporary vernacular slang, awesome is a simple shorthand way to refer to something that is very impressive: That new white convertible is totally awesome.
More traditionally (and therapeutically) it is an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like. Something that is ‘awesome’ has the power to inspire fear or reverence. Combining the two usages, it refers to something that is so wonderful and impressive, often something in nature, that it blows your mind: That sunset was awesome!
 
Laughter therapy is an eclectic method that has roots in Norman Cousins’ now well-verified belief that in addition to humor and laughter, all of the positive emotions are beneficial for human beings. “Careful readers of my book [Anatomy of an Illness], however, knew that laughter was just a metaphor for the entire range of the positive emotions. Hope, faith, love, will to live, cheerfulness, humor, creativity, playfulness, confidence, great expectations--all these, I believed had therapeutic value" (p. 50).

Norman Cousins

All of that said, here for your consideration is the Days-of-Awe prayer written by Rabbi Howard L. Apothaker, Temple Beth Shalom, New Albany, Ohio, for inclusion in their Yom Kippur 5774 religious services.

As you read these virtuous ideals, you may want to focus on them verbatim (as written) or consider trying this prayer as a series of affirmations, meditations, mantras, or visualizations of intention for a better world. You may want to substitute “We pray” with words that are more comfortable or meaningful to you, such as “I contribute to…” or “I focus on…” or "I visualize...". Experiment to find the words that suit you best.


An Acrostic "Days of Awe" Prayer
Written by Rabbi Howard L. Apothaker

During these Days of Awe, we pray for open minds and open hearts, encompassing the A-to-Z, from Awe to Zeal, for returning to our most humane conduct.

We pray for an end to animosity, and a return to affability.
We pray for an end to bigotry, and a return to blessing.
We pray for an end to cruelty, and a return to caring.
We pray for an end to deception, and a return to devotion.
We pray for an end to enmity, and a return to engagement.
We pray for an end to faultfinding, and a return to forgiveness.
We pray for an end to greed, and a return to generosity.
We pray for an end to hostility, and a return to heartfulness.
We pray for an end to injustice, and a return to integrity.
We pray for an end to jingoism, and a return to judiciousness.
We pray for an end to Klannishness, and a return to kindness.
We pray for an end to lewdness, and a return to love.
We pray for an end to maliciousness, and a return to mercy.
We pray for an end to nastiness, and a return to niceness.
We pray for an end to obstinacy, and a return to open-mindedness.
We pray for an end to prejudice, and a return to peacefulness.
We pray for an end of querulousness, and a return to quietude.
We pray for an end to ridicule, and a return to respect.
We pray for an end to selfishness, and a return to sacrifice.
We pray for an end to trash-talk, and a return to tact.
We pray for an end to violence, and a return to values.
We pray for an end to warfare, and a return to welcoming.
We pray for an end to xenophobia, and a return to examination of self.
We pray for an end to yelling insults, and to a return to yielding ground.
We pray for an end to zero-sum, and a return to zeal for cooperation.

May this "alphabet of prayers" reflect the breadth of our concern for our people, for all peoples, for every person; at this time, through all time, in our time; and for all humane convictions and creeds.
AMEN.
 



The thoughts you hold become your actions and your character and your destiny.These are some pretty good thoughts to hold onto. Concentrate on them and let them guide your actions. They resonate with virtuous ideals. The more you think and act on these, the more likely you are to enhance your well-being. And, with each step closer to these conditions, the more likely you are to experience good vibes, man, well-being, and true mirthful laughter.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Make Your Life More Playful


 
Man is most nearly himself when he achieves the seriousness of a child at play.
-Heraclitus
Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem; dulce est desipere in loco.
(Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: it's good to be silly at the right moment.) -Horace
 
Don't ever let your mind keep you from having a good time. -Jason Mraz

A sense of playfulness is the best defense against taking yourself too seriously.
-Peter Kai Chang
I think entrepreneurship is our natural state -a big adult word that boils down to something much more obvious like playfulness. -Richard Branson
 
Playfulness is more important than play. According to SteveGross, Executive Director – and Chief Playmaker – of The Life is good Playmakers, “We all know that it is critical for kids of all ages to play. And we know that play can take many forms. But there’s a deeper idea about the importance for kids to learn how to be playful – and how that spirit should permeate their development.”
The same goes for adults.
One of the surest techniques for being playful is to not keep score. As soon as you start keeping score or comparing one person’s performance to another, playfulness goes away and self-esteem is at stake. Stress and striving start, and unhappiness looms with the prospect of falling short, losing, or failing.
In 10 Ways to MakeYour Life More Playful, Melissa Kirk, says, “When we lose ourselves in play, whether creating a make-believe world, throwing a ball between friends, frolicking with our dog, or watching silly YouTube videos, we allow ourselves to get out of the linear, problem-solution, adult mindset. We’re activating a part of our brains that we don’t use much in the grown-up world: the one that doesn’t care about deadlines or mortgages or how much we weigh, the one that doesn’t care how we look to others.”


Bernie Dekoven, author of The Well Played Game, observes,  "Even though I rigorously claim that ‘the playful path is the shortest road to happiness,’ it often happens that we don’t choose to be playful. We could, but we don’t. Maybe we’re not happy enough. Maybe some perverse part of ourselves is having more fun being miserable. But even the best of us, even the most professionally playful of us, forget to be playful. And even though we have the choice and we know we have the choice, we simply can’t get ourselves to play. We can’t act playfully, or feel playful or be playful.

"Sure, we can play the same kinds of games we played when we were children, but experiencing those same games, as adults, weaving them into the context of what we have since learned and experienced and dreamed, the games become something else, we become something more. We care for each other differently. We appreciate each other differently. We play with each other differently.

"For many reasons, it can take us years, decades before we can allow ourselves embrace fun and silliness the way we once did when we were children. And when we finally make it back, we discover that we are different, and it is different; and yet it welcomes us, embraces us as powerfully, as naturally, as meaningfully as it did when we last understood its place in our lives – more meaningfully, because we are adults, and we must, not because, but in spite of it all, choose to have fun, to be silly."

Techniques to Facilitate Play Behavior
1.    List three times or periods in your life during each week when you are free from responsibility.

2.    Go back to your own childhood and think about the kind of play you enjoyed at that time.

3.    Pay attention to your dreams and daydreams about play. For one month keep a journal record of your dreams. Pay attention to the ones that are particularly free, spontaneous, and joyful.

4.    Plan to spend at least two hours each week watching children play. Do this for one month. Do you find yourself smiling inside as you watch them? What kinds of activities are they experiencing?
 

5.    Plan to play with children during the week. If you have your own children, make a special effort to play with them ''just for the fun of it.” Did you laugh out loud during your play with them?

6.    List three friends who are most playful and fun to be with. Think about how you could plan to spend more time with these people.  

7.    Think about the kind of environment or setting that you need for play. Do you need to be outside your home? Do you need to be wearing special "play" clothes? Is there a special room in your home where you feel most free and spontaneous?

8.    Lock the bathroom door and look at yourself in the mirror. Try to think serious and then humorous thoughts. Smile at yourself in the mirror for two minutes.

9.    Practice laughing with a friend. If necessary, have that friend tickle you. Tell each other jokes. go to a silly movie, Make a tape of yourself laughing and plan to play it back in privacy when you are feeling most depressed.